iCarly: iT's been a long time coming
by Frank Bigoski
Summary: Freddie's got a full ride scholarship to Santa Victoria Academia, a prestigious private school in Barcelona, now dating Kimiko, Freddie ponders his future, and Carls, Gib, and Mel surprise him with some game changing news... Chapter VI now up.
1. Prologue: i Miss Freddie?

**I Don't own iCarly, cause if I did, Freddie would SOOOOO be over Carly completely and dating Sam by now, nothing against Shay, but she and Freddie just don't mix. Sam's the right girl for the kid, too bad he doesn't seem to get that, and neither does she.**

**Well, this is my first shot at a Seddie fic, and I'm hoping you all enjoy it, I've decided to set things up in a different way because I see a whole heckuvalot of Sam running off to try to change herself for Freddie in these Fics, but not as many Freddie journeys of self discovery, and I think he needs it more then she does. So here's my two cents, please enjoy, and the first full Chapter will be up tomorrow!**

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Fredward Allan Benson, the full name of Freddie "The biggest nub I ever met" Benson, and the young man who she, Samantha Joy Puckett missed more then anything in the world right now. Freddie had been her stress reliever, confidant, companion, punching bag, and so much more over the years since their friendship had began. Now he was gone, it wasn't as though it had been with out warning, and it wasn't as if he was her boy friend or anything, but then why did she feel so hurt? Why did Sam "Tough Girl" Puckett feel like she had a hole in her heart that just wouldn't fill up without Fredwierdo around? Alas, right now she didn't have time to think about it, she Carly and Gibby had to get to work on tonight's episode of iCarly, with Freddie giving back up tech support over the internet. So banishing the frown from her face, it was time to get to work.

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On the other side of the world at the exact same time:

Freddie had just finished unpacking his things in his new dorm room at the Santa Victoria Academia, an elite private school in Barcelona Spain that had some of the most impressive testing results and post graduation college acceptance records in the world. The school had more graduates attending Ivy League class colleges then any other high school in the world. The greatest part was that while Freddie had impressive enough grades to be accepted for a partial scholarship, his extra curricular activities in fencing had actually won him a full ride to the school, where he would be studying with some of the greatest Fencing instructors in all the world.

One of his instructors in fact was not just a Master of Fencing, but also a 10th Dan practitioner of Kenjutsu, the combination of the Japanese sword fighting art Kendo, and Jiujutsu, one of the oldest Oriental grappling martial arts. This combination of training was one of the things that had piqued his interest most, seeing as how he had been coming to a realization regarding one Sam Puckett in recent months. Freddie had decided he was going to need a bit more then a Fencing repertoire if he were to come forward with his feelings to Sam.

As he saw it now, she would probably rip his head off if he told her that she had been creeping her way in to his dreams late at night, in some of which not leaving until he woke in the morning. Ever since she'd helped him see the light about he and Carly's relationship a few months back during last school year, right after the "Taco Truck" incident, Sam had been starting to take Carly's place in all of his late night fantasies, and his day time ones at that. It may have even started before that, possibly as far back as their first kiss all that time ago, but he couldn't be certain. So now here Freddie was, ready to being the two years of his life as a student at the Santa Victoria Academia, and gain the emotional and physical strength he would need to win the heart of the woman he loved when he returned home.

All he could really do was hope, hope and believe…

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Back in Seattle, in the iCarly studios, as Gibby follows Freddie's instructions via web-cam broadcast from S.V.A. (Santa Victoria Academia).

"And we're live in 5, 4, 3, 2... Go." Gibby gave Carly and Sam the signal as the two girls jumped forward at the camera slung over the semi-chubby young man's shoulder.

"I'm Santa Victoria," Carly said, before hopping back and taking a short bow.

"And I'm Academia en Barcelona," Sam said, before repeating Carly's own action with a bit more of a Shakespearean flair to the whole thing, as she pressed the 'applause' button on her blue remote.

The automated laughter and clapping of the faux crowd ceased over the speakers before Carly and Sam both stepped forward with a smile on their faces. "Actually guys, we're pretty sure you all know who we are, but since Freddie just arrived in Spain today to begin his studies at Santa Victoria Academia, Sam and I have decided to put on a special 'We'll Miss You Freddie' episode," and with that Carly signaled Gibby to the roll the footage reel they'd made of Freddie doing his Tech Producer thing over the years, but before he could enter the command on the laptop next to him, Sam grabbed on to the camera shocking both of the other two.

"One thing first, I don't know where this is coming from, so take it for what it's worth Fredducini, I'm sorry, I mean 'Freddie.' But for real man, Momma's gonna miss you Nub, take care of yourself over there, and you had better come home for Christmas! Oh, and I still hate you!" Sam said, before awkwardly letting go of Gibby and the camera, and signaling for him to continue with the wave of an upturned hand. In response to the questioning looks shot her way by both Gibby and Carly, Sam just looked to the side, whistling to herself under her breath rocking back and forth on her heels. When Carly finally raised an eyebrow at her wild maned blond best friend, Sam just shrugged.

"What, so I pick on the kid daily, and kinda beat him up almost every day as well. That doesn't mean I don't want him to come back in one piece, if he didn't that would leave me with just Gibson over there to beat on and then call my friend later, and that wouldn't be any fun." Sam retorted to Carly's unspoken comments, stopping them from ever being spoken.

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Back in Barcelona:

Freddie let loose a hearty laugh as he leaned back in to his desk chair, maybe it wouldn't be so hard to tell Sam how he felt, because as he watched her little display before they started the Freddie blooper reel, he saw one thing in her eyes, and that was the same thing he'd seen in his own every time he looked in to a mirror for the past month since being accepted to the school. He had to fight his mom tooth and nail, and break two of his best friend's hearts, while one hid it much better then the other did until her little outburst tonight, but he had gotten the space he was going to need to grow in to the man he wanted to be when he told Sam how he felt. Every day he'd looked in the mirror this last month and only seen sadness, but not anymore.

He knew that Sam's eyes were sad as well, her threats and "I hate you" weren't as forceful, and her step seemed a little less bouncy, that was what he saw when he watched her on iCarly a few moments ago. That gave him hope that she felt at least similar feelings for him as he had for her, he missed her. He realized that wasn't so bad of him to admit, because regardless of the "I Hate You" comments, and the threatening texts and E-Mails she'd sent him all Month it was obvious that she missed him just as much as he did her.

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**Hope you liked it, please R and R and tell me what you think.**

**~Frank, your friendly neighborhood fan fiction guy!**


	2. Chapter I: i Come home for Christmas

**I do not own iCarly, yada, yada, yada, see previous chapter's Schpiel. More up soon, love you guys, keep up the reviews please, thanks... ~F.B.**

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**In this chapter Freddie thinks about Sam A LOT, and everyone at S.V.A. notices, Sam thinks about Freddie too, and trust me, people know it!**

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Late December, Freddie's school, Fencing Practice:

Block left. Parry right. Sidestep to the left, and then thrust forward and to the right. HIT! Freddie thinks, as his foil makes contact with his opponent's chest, directly at the heart. Antonio De La Vega, or "Ant" as he had been nicknamed around campus pulled back his mask, a smile crossing over his face. "Amazing Fredward my friend, you are really on your game today aren't you? I'm quite impressed, I mean, I am used to you beating me, but not this thoroughly." Ant said with a sword in hand salute to his opponent, before taking a step back from the centre line, and placing his mask below his right arm.

Freddie removed his own mask with a smile and tossed it to land atop his gear bag on the side of the piste as he walked over to join his sparring partner. "I think it's just nerves Ant, I mean, I'm going to see my friends for the first time since the end of July, so this trip home is a big deal for me." Freddie said, taking a seat next to his friend on the bench to the side of their sparring ring. His attentions were soon wandering to thoughts of a particular blond headed demon, just as Ant snapped his fingers to draw him out of his reverie.

"Thinking about your little she-devil you been telling me about huh?" The native Spaniard asked of his recently acquired friend as he sipped from a water bottle. Ant wasn't what you would call a detective, but he paid attention when his friends talked, particularly when they would drift off in to day dream like states when talking about particular subjects. With Freddie, that only happened when he spoke about three things: Spaghetti Tacos; the newest tech for his lap top; and his hometown friend Sam Puckett.

"How did you guess?" Freddie said, shooting a look toward his dorm neighbor and sparring partner with a raised eyebrow. Freddie was often impressed at how well Ant had learned to read him over the past few months. "You know what, never mind, because knowing you it'll probably be something about my 'eyes looking off in to space as if I was witnessing a sunrise for the first time'."

"Wow, am I really that much of a… how would you Americans sat it? Cheese ball?" Ant inquired as he looked back toward Freddie who was slowly starting to drift back in to his daydream like state. "Hello, Earth to Freddie."

"Oh, sorry, yeah cheese ball would fit that line quite efficiently I'd say." Freddie said with a laugh. "Now let's go get something to eat, I'm in the mood for some Ham," the brown eyed American suggested.

Yes, he was definitely thinking about Sam, he had to be. Ham wasn't even one of his preferred types of meat.

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On the other side of the planet, somewhere in the shopping district of Seattle:

Sam had managed to get dragged along on one of Carly's shopping sprees after school today, thanks to both Carly's new part time job income, and Melanie having come in to town. That was what Melanie did when she was home, she would hang out with Sam as much as possible, and make her shop with her. Some kind of female bonding thing, Sam never really got it.

So here they were in the Starbucks at the nearest mall to Bushwell Plaza, and Sam was running through songs on her Pear-pod Touch that Freddie had got her for her last birthday. She was currently listening to one of her favorite hip hop tracks and running over a dance routine in he head, when her hip started to vibrate. Looking down with an annoyed look at the new phone she had just managed to buy after scrounging up enough cash from her own part time job at the diner around the corner from the movie theater they always went to, Sam was in no mood for small talk. She was bored out of her mind waiting on her sister and Carly however, so she might as well check to see who it was.

Pulling the phone from her hip holster, and checking the screen, Sam suddenly had to fight back a girly scream of excitement. Freddie was calling! Wait, why was that making her heart race, and giving her the urge to jump up and down like a schoolgirl? Well, she was a schoolgirl, but still! Holding back the urge, Sam put the phone up to her ear and resolved to answer as she would any other time she spoke to Freddie.

"Uh, whattaya want Nub?" Sam asked with the least bit of excitement she could manage.

"Uh, thought that was obvious, thinking of you for some odd reason Demon," Freddie replied with a slight exasperated sigh on the other side of the line. He knew that Sam wasn't going to be an easy shell to crack when it came to bringing her around to his side of the fence with the whole feelings thing, but did she still have to call him Nub even when he was on the other side of the planet?

"Well, you almost ready to come home Friday?" Sam asked, her voice cracking a bit when she said home, she hoped he didn't catch how much she missed him from her tone.

"Actually, that's exactly why I was calling, I was kind of hoping you and Carls would be there with my Mom when she picks me up from the airport." Freddie explained, throwing in Carls as an excuse to get Sam to come, seeing as how he could tell she was still holding back a bit of the fervor she had in her goodbye message during the "We'll Miss You Freddie" episode.

"I'm pretty sure that could be arranged," Sam said nonchalantly, still trying to hide her now jump started enthusiasm, while he did ask her and Carly to be here, he'd called her first. Maybe it wasn't so far fetched to think that Freddie might actually have feelings for her too.

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Inside the Starbucks, still waiting on their drinks Sam's identical twin sister Melanie, and her best friend in the world stood side by side, whispering to each other in hushed tones about Sam's recent changes in personality. First of all, she'd been going easy on the language, and the bullying, especially at school, she'd been getting B minuses or better in all her classes, and she'd even been stopping by to check on Freddie's mom, there friendship had gotten to the point where she was now calling her Marissa!

"I know it seems crazy… but I think that Sam might have a thing for Freddie…." Carly said, while shaking her head in exasperation. She was even starting to confuse herself with all of these off the wall hunches.

"As strange as that may seem, I think you may be right. Now I don't know how much you remember about my visit home last year when I met Freddie," Melanie paused for emphasis. "But Sam practically forbade me to date him when we were at home that first day. Now I know you might think that was all part of her hate for Freddie and not wanting to see him happy and all that. However, you have to look at things from my point of view Carly," Melanie explained.

"Which is?" Carly responded, now somewhat confused again, this time by Melanie's cryptic statement.

"The point of view of the identical twin sister, I mean think about it Carly. We shared cells at one time of our genetic development in the womb. So while Sam might not tell me all the things she would tell you, and she may be sworn to tell yourself and Fredward the truth after the whole Laughing Gas incident, all I have to do is look at her, and I can tell what she's thinking." Melanie explained, basically describing the phenomenon that has come to be jokingly referred to as "Twin Telepathy" throughout the modern world. "Which leads me to my current assumptions, whenever you or I bring up Fredward, Sam gets all flustered, it seems to cause her to short circuit if you will. Wires get crossed and the next comment out of her mouth comes out as mush rather then intelligible words," Melanie described using a vocabulary that very well might have impressed Nevel given the chance.

"You know, I really thought I was just losing it, but maybe there really is something going on here. Looks like we'll just have to watch the two like hawks when they're together during Freddie's visit to find out," Carly suggested, bringing something constructive to the conversation for the first time in a few minutes. One thing that Carly Shay was sure of, this would be an interesting Christmas Break.

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Later that night, at the airport in Barcelona:

Freddie was being escorted to the airport along with two of his new found friends from school, another American from New York named Alex Rolland, and a Cuban native by the name of Marcos Del Rosario. They had been escorted by one of the Professors at the school, who was both their World History instructor, and one of the coaching staff for the school's world famous fencing team, Professor Imagawa.

"Well, I hope you two enjoy your trips home, I'd hate for the school to lose two of its top students, and the captain of it's soccer team." Imagawa Ryo said to the eldest two students, who were both in the school for academic scholarship, but both played multiple sports at school. In fact, Marcos was on the Fencing Team, and the Soccer Team's captain, while Alex played for the Basketball Team, did the relay on Track and Field, and was on the Fencing team as a walk in try out.

"No problem Ryo Sensei," Alex said, bowing to Imagawa in a traditional Japanese martial artist's style. He was one of Imagawa's favorite students, and one of few who had been privileged to learn the Kenjutsu techniques that their Fencing instructor had mastered over the years. Other then he, the only others that Freddie actually knew of were himself, Marcos, who was also with them, Ant, and two female students name Kimiko and Allison. Allison was the daughter of some English businessman, and a senior like Marcos and Alex, while Kimiko was to Freddie's knowledge one of Imagawa's students from Japan who had gained admittance at the prestigious school just to continue training with the Professor, and a Sophomore like himself, and Ant.

"Now you, Gaijin," Imagawa said to his newest recruit for the school's fencing team, having actually personally flown to Seattle to convince Freddie's mother to allow the boy to board and learn at the Academy, he felt as though he had the privilege to playfully insult the boy. "What seems to be troubling you?" The observant elder man asked, with a raised eyebrow and a goofy grin.

The name calling didn't bother Freddie in the least bit as he looked over his shoulder to his instructor, as he waited for his seating section to be called. Gaijin may literally have translated to something much worse then "outsider" but that was what people tended to use it for now, and it was Freddie's nickname on the Fencing team, since his arrival back in the end of July. He had been their newest recruit, and so he became their affectionately called "Gaijin" when their current Captain, Kimiko, had called him by the name upon their first meeting. Now that he thought about it, he probably wouldn't mind Professor Imagawa calling him that anyway since "Sensei Ryo" as he preferred to be called outside of the Headmaster's earshot, looked a lot like Spencer. Well, Spencer if he was tan, and slightly more Oriental facial structure, and a thin bit of goatee with an old school top-knot. Thus it would be like Spencer calling him Nub, just to funny to get angry at.

"Am I really that transparent to you Ryo Sensei?" Freddie asked, hoping that his instructor would respond with something along the lines of 'No just a lucky guess.' or 'Of course not.' Of course he would have no such luck.

"I'm afraid so Gaijin, now come, tell me what's wrong before you go. I can't let you get on that plane if I think you might harm yourself or others." Of course that was a simple joke, but Freddie smiled knowing that his teacher was genuinely concerned about his physical and metal well being.

"It's about this girl, you know, the 'Byaku-Oni' I told you and Kim about?" Freddie asked using the Japanese term "white ogre" to describe his former tormentor/current crush.

"Ah yes, your Blonde headed demon, I do remember the conversation Freddie, please, do tell me what seems to trouble you?" Ryo Sensei inquired again, though he was quite confident he already knew the answer to this question.

"She's going to be there to pick me up at the airport and I'm still not sure how to tell her about, well, you know…" Freddie said, drifting off in his speech once again.

Ryo nodded gently toward the younger man, laughing heartily soon after as he clapped Freddie on the shoulder and forced him to meet his gaze. "All I see when I look in your eyes Fredward-san is an Oni slaying Ryu ready to rip forth from within your soul and purge itself of the flames growing within it by laying waste to any who might challenge him. If this demon girl you speak so highly of does not see these flames, and does not respect this furious dragon, then I do not see why she interests you so. So if I assume correctly and she sees in you the same things that I do, and she challenges you over and over as you so described to me, just to push you to release that dragon, and let it speak…" The elder man trailed off for a moment, looking down at the floor between the two just as Freddie's seating area aboard the plane was called. "…then I say let the Dragon work its tongue."

"Domo Arigato Ryo Sensei." Freddie said, after considering his newly acquired teacher and mentor's advice, before turning on his heel to walk aboard the plane, throwing one more nod, and a bow to the other man as he reached the precipice of the ramp, then finally entering the mechanically extended hallway.

In the air some time later, Freddie was preparing to sleep through the overnight flight, while looking out the window of his First Class seat. He laughed a bit to himself at his luck of the draw on seating, his mother had sent the school extra funds for his flight home because she thought people in economy class had "too many dangerous germs." Pressing play on his Pear-pod, Freddie began to drift off to sleep, dreaming of when he would get to see Sam Puckett again, and some of his earliest memories of the blonde headed demon.

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_Images flash though Freddie's mind as he drifts off in to dream land._

_First day of 4__th__ grade. A golden-yellow ball of fire with two glistening blue pin points at its core rolls over him as he attempts to grab the last slice of Hawaiian Pizza at the welcoming party in class. He hadn't had a piece yet because he gave his to the pretty Brunette girl he'd met yesterday who moved in to his building a few days ago. "Hawaiian Pizza has ham on it, if there's Ham, it belongs to Sam, or Mama, yeah, you on the floor, Nub-boy, you can call me Mama." _

_Freddie didn't cry, or moan, or groan, or anything any other boy or girl would do when Sam ran them down, which made her smile down at the fallen kid, he was actually sort of… …no that's weakness, boys have cooties, she thought to herself. But then again, he did have those eyes that didn't show anything but surprise, no pain, no anger, just surprise…_

_Carly had walked up right after that, and given Sam a very thorough talking to, even back that, she had the Mother Hen instincts. "His name happens to be Fredward, and he's a very nice boy, he lives across the hall from me, and since you said you were going to be my friend, you should give him back his slice of Pizza Sam!"_

"_Ah, do I have to Carly?" Sam asked, making her best attempt at a puppy dog face._

"_Yes! You most certainly do Sam, and say sorry to Freddie too!" Carly commanded._

_After peeling off all the Ham on the slice and gobbling it down, Sam handed it back, with a muffled "I'm sorry Fredwierdo…" under her breath._

_Freddie couldn't help but think how pretty the angry ball of golden-yellow flame had been that had mowed him down._

_At the same time unbeknown to even this dreaming recollection of Freddie, the blue eyed monster had thought that his chocolate oculars were probably the only cute things she'd ever seen on a boy, well, that and the rest of his face._

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Freddie sighed in his dreaming state as a flight attendant put a blanket over him in the wide window seat, the accompanying seat next to him was empty but in his heart he felt like as thou someone was there. Someone with fragile, yet strong arms, wrapped firmly, yet softly across his chest. In side his heart, and his thoughts, Freddie already had Sam by his side.

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**Hope everyone liked Chapter-I, Chapter II comin' at you with in the next few days, so keep your eyes open, oh, and I'm drawing this one out, so don't expect the awkwardness to go away during the Vacation trip... I have to have a reason to keep things going until Freddie's return from Barcelona, so that's just a warning to all my fellow Seddie shippers hoping for a quick Seddie fix. This is going to be awkward, then rough, then REAL GOOD Seddie, then back to Rough, to straight Bad for a while, until the ending, and I'm not even hinting what that will be like ;P Just gotta keep reading to find out :)**


	3. Chapter II: i Saw this coming

**Chapter II time peoples, oh yeah, that's right, Chapter II! Quick updates with this story seem to be easy, I'm hooked on my little story, and can't wait to get you guys to the point I'm already at in my head, so, here goes…**

**…oh, and I don't own Jack, really, I don't own anything in this story, other then the original characters and the Santa Victoria Academia. Nickelodeon or Viacom or some guys own iCarly, and all characters and places there in, well, other then Seattle, that's a real place ;P**

**Enjoy guys, oh, and if you're a big wig, please don't sue me!

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**In this chapter Freddie arrives home to a welcome wagon from his Mom, Carly and Sam, we learn more about Sam and Mrs. Benson's new friendship, and we get a slight taste of Seddie for the future, hope you guys all enjoy!  
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_A breath against her lips snapped her eyes open from her dancing darkness. She looked up in to the brown orbs that seemed to hover in front of her in the darkness until her vision completely returned, revealing the serene visage of Fredward Allen Benson. That's right, Freddie and Sam were dancing. Her body pressed firmly against his, arms wrapped possessively around his back, and she wouldn't have it any other way._

_She looked up in to his eyes still, searching them for the words which she knew were fighting to make their way off of her tongue at their very moment. Searching for validation of her feelings, and the hope that they be returned in full, not just with a simple "you're okay yourself Sam," as the past had done to her too many times. Everyone thought she was just this little rock with a heart of stone, who didn't care, and couldn't be effected by her surroundings, or other's actions and opinions. Everyone was wrong._

_Sam cared what others thought, and how they felt. In particular Carly, Melanie, Spencer, Gibby, Wendy, and above all else FREDDIE! Yes, she cared. The reason she closed herself off from other's prying eyes and ears for so long was because she had long ago accepted that she was only "okay herself" not "loved" by others. People who didn't really care, her Father, her ex-boyfriends from the earlier days of middle school, before iCarly got started, and before she'd stopped hiding her feelings for Freddie. She had been broken, and she thought that everyone hated her for it. If she had only known now what Freddie was just about to say to her for the second time that night, "I love you Samantha Joy Puckett. I love you, and I think I always have. Ever since you stole the Ham off my Hawaiian pizza on the first day of 4__th__ grade. I've been in love with you since I first saw that golden yellow fireball and those big blue eyes floating at its center as I was run down."_

_That was all Sam had ever needed to hear to make her melt, and ball tears of joy for almost an hour on end. She needed to hear those three little words, and she needed to hear them from HIM.

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_

A hand fell gently upon Sam's knee, a gesture which, no matter how gentle, in any other circumstance would have cost someone their hand. However in this circumstance, waking Sam from a wonderful dream accompanied with a mother's tone, she awoke calmly, with a sighing yawn. "Wake up Sam dear, we're here," Marissa said, as she jostled the azure eyed blonde in to the land of the living.

"Mmmmm…" Sam said, stretching her arms out in the front seat of Mrs. Benson's Volvo station wagon. Looking to her left, to see the beaming smile of Freddie's mom, Sam blinked the darkness away. She heard a giggle from behind her and peaked over her shoulder to see Carly shaking her head in disbelief.

"What?" Sam asked, shooting an accusatory look over her shoulder at the doe eyed Brunette. She'd been doing that ever since Mrs. Benson woke them up that morning with a phone call to Sam's cell phone.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Sam my dear." The pleated haired brunette mocked in response, causing a slight smirk to cross her face. Sam shook her own head now, realizing the joke which Carly had been laughing at internally. Yeah, Sam thought, it may seem strange that she and Marissa had become so close these last few months since Freddie had left, but if Carly paid as much attention to Sam as she did to her interactions with Mrs. Benson she would realize what had spawned their new friendship. First off it had started as just a way for Sam to keep tabs on Freddie, and check in on him without alerting him to her concern. Then, the more she stopped by the Benson home, it had turned in to more. You see Samantha Joy Puckett's mother wasn't the most loving figure in the world.

"Mmmmm…" Sam sighed again, this time shaking her head regarding her mother's lack of affection. She couldn't blame the woman, having her Dad split when she was only 18 months, and leave her mother alone with her and Melanie couldn't have been easy, but Marissa was different. She had lost her husband, not to divorce, or abandonment, but to Death, the inescapable final chapter in the life of any loved one.

That was what had turned Marissa in to the over protective mother she had become. That was what made her insure that Freddie never strayed to far from the proverbial "side walk." Though Marissa never told Sam, even during their evening cups of tea that they'd been sharing in secret even from the Shays these last few months, of the exact circumstances of her late husband's passing, she was sure that Freddie's father had an effect on his son's development as a man. From what she'd told Sam of Mr. Benson he had been the type of man that Freddie was shaping up to be himself, polite, respectful, strong, and trustworthy, four things which Sam appreciated most about Freddie. Well, other then his amazing brown eyes, and that cute smirk he'd get on his face when he rolled his eyes.

"Well, time to go to work." Sam said, to no one in particular, as the trio of ladies walked in to the airport doors at the United Airlines terminal. It was time to put on her mask, no not the goofy looking, cool (yes something can be both goofy looking and cool, why? Because Sam said so, that's why) fencing mask that Freddie wore during his bouts, but a mask of nonchalance, and disenfranchisement. An uncaring façade that would hide her feelings from Freddie, Carly, and Marissa for the remainder of the day, she would tell Freddie how much she'd missed him, and about the feelings she was beginning to develop for him in do time, but not today, not here, and certainly not in front of Carly and his Mom.

"Here he comes! My little boy!" Marissa said jubilantly, as she Saw Freddie's face begin to become visible as the Escalator from the baggage platform made its descent down to the lobby floors. Her little boy probably wasn't the best possible description though, Sam thought to herself, as it was obvious that in the last few months Freddie had quite the growth spurt.

Standing at least three inches taller then she had seen him last, with a bit of baby fat gone from his face, which was starting to sharpen in to the handsome features of an adult male, and what looked like it might even be the slightest degree of five o'clock shadow on his jaw, Freddie became visible. A gulping noise, barely audible above the level of a pin drop, came from Sam's throat. Great, it was bad enough that she had been falling for awkward old "I'm only suave and savvy when I have a foil or a laptop in my hand," Freddie, but now he was a 5'8" or taller babe, with those same piercing brown eyes! "Somebody kill me now, before the tide drags me under!"

Sam had thought that she whispered these words quiet enough to go unnoticed, but she was dead wrong. A thin line of a smirk crossed over Carly's face, and a plot made its way in to her head as it did. "HEY FREDDIE!!!" Carly yelled, running forward to hug the newly grown boy in front of her, maybe if she made a little unnecessary physical contact with him, she could push Sam to stake her claim.

"Carly, how goes it girly?" Freddie asked, as the brunette curled in to his chest and neck hard with a nuzzling hug. He felt the contact, and he heard the girl's rustling, but his eyes, ah yes, those chocolate brown eyes which Sam was still staring at, unbeknownst to Freddie, were locked on to Sam's smile for dear life.

That's when it happened, Hurricane Marissa. Freddie was whisked almost off the ground by his Mother and her rush to hug him, something that amazed him as he knew he had to out weigh his mother by at least thirty pounds of pure muscle by now. "FREDWARD! OH MY LITTLE BOY!" This brought a chuckle to Freddie's ears from his left, where Sam now stood picking up the bags he had dropped in the cyclone of his Mother's attack.

"Hi Sam," Freddie said, wishing he could give the girl more attention, but quickly being pulled along by his mother toward the doors.

"Hey Nub," Sam said, with what Freddie could only hope was a joking tone, as a smile seemed to creep over her uncaring expression, even if only for an instant.

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Back at Bushwell, the welcome home antics were in full swing by the time 5 PM hit, and Freddie had woke up from a much needed nap after a busy afternoon of explaining every moment of his last 5 months to his Mother, Carly, Spencer, and a surprisingly interested Sam. Now here they all were, in the iCarly studio, minus his mother of course, whom had been forced to leave for job related duties at the hospital, dancing away on the hardwood flooring in the large room. Gibby was currently doing a good impression of a drunk, dancing shirtless on the hood of the old 67 Mustang front end Spencer had done for the studio as a sort of stop gap project between sculptures, even though the only beer he'd had was of the root variety.

Freddie smiled, as he was pulled on to the dance floor himself by two of his friends, Carly, and Sam, the other two members of the triumvirate. The next thing he knew they were random dancing the night away, in the midst of "Welcome home Freddie," and "What's up my man?" Greetings from all of the attendees as they went about their merry ways, partying well in to the night.

Sometime around 11:00 PM after all of the noise and insanity of dancing began to calm, very few were left frolicking on the dance floor. Fewer still remained to stand around and talk with Freddie about the past few months along the side of the scene. Carly approached Freddie from the left, and Melanie to his right, sandwiching him between them in front of the punch table. He was currently staring at Sam who danced wondrously to the beat of the Hip Hop track playing on the impressive stereo system that was wired throughout the studio.

"Why are you just standing there you lump, say something to her!" Carly pushed, having run out of patience with watching the two tip toe around each other with the obvious tension that seemed to have become almost palpable between them since his plane had arrived.

"Really Freddie, I don't know why you and Sam are acting so strangely," Melanie said, putting her push in as well. "But it is quite obvious that the both of you have something to say to one another, so why not go talk to her. Last Sam had told me the two of you had been getting along much better the last few months before you left."

Freddie's ears perked up at that, Melanie had struck a cord, it was true that he and Sam had been getting much closer as friends before he'd left. But that was before these feelings had really become so obvious to him, that had started during the Summer. Now when he looked at her he didn't see his dangerous friend, he saw a woman whom if insulted by his advances could tear him in to pieces. "Maybe you're right." Freddie said, ignoring the warnings in the back of his head, this was why he'd gone to Spain to begin with, to become strong enough for this moment. Strong enough for Sam. It was time to see how well he'd faired, while this was only a temporary visit, it would make it all the easier for him to strengthen himself if he knew there was something waiting for him. Who knows what could happen if he didn't tell Sam how he felt now, she might fall in love with someone else, and be too far beyond his reach when he returned, no matter how strong her got. So gathering what courage he had gained these past months in Barcelona, he moved forward.

Meeting Sam at the center of the dance floor, Freddie tapped her shoulder to bring her out of her close eyed reveling. Looking at him for an instant with those ice blue eyes shining like a pair of sapphires for just a brief moment, while she smiled widely at him, Freddie realized right then what made his heart skip a beat every time he'd seen her since fourth grade. It wasn't the fear of another beating, as he'd tried to make it seem for so many years, but rather her wild and care free attitude, and that smile that never ceased to elevate his mood. "Hey Nub-zilla what's up?"

He let the corner of his mouth perk up in to a slight smirk as he offered a hand toward Sam, the transition of songs having just ended, and a slower paced R and B song having started up. "May I have this dance Demon?" Freddie asked, raising a brow, and bending a knee to give Sam a slight bow.

"If you can manage not to step on either of our feet too much dork," Sam offered in return, taking Freddie's hand and stepping in to dance closer to him to the sound of some old Usher song or another. She had been trying to hold her concentration and keep up her facade as best she could, but once the music had hit her earlier it became harder by the moment. So she'd just stayed on the dance floor, trying to keep herself as hidden from Freddie as she possibly could, but now that he was pressed close to her, and her head was resting on his shoulder, she could finally let it out. Her face softened from the hard front she'd been holding all day, and for once, for just one solitary moment between her and Freddie, she was able to be a girl. Not the "school tough girl" but just a girl, dancing with just a boy, on a dance floor where only they existed.

"So, how's España?" Sam whispered in to Freddie's ear, with just enough playfulness to sound flirty, but just enough flippancy to still sound like Sam.

"What, no Fredwierdo?" Freddie asked, whispering in to her mane of luscious blonde curls in response to her own question.

"Not right now Freddie, right now, it's just two friends hanging out, talking about the awesome private school one of them got in to." Sam says with a smile, happy enough to hold Freddie tightly around his neck and nestle in his chest to not need the validation she'd been seeking for her feelings for all these months.

"That sounds good to me Sam, and if you really wanted to know Spain has been amazing." Freddie finally answered the earlier question, a slight chuckle escaping his mouth afterward.

Sam just nodded an affirmative against his chest as she continued to revel in the moment.

* * *

While all this was going on, Carly and Melanie had joined Spencer in the living room, and they were currently recording a copy of the dance using one of the iCarly cameras, which they played back on the screen of Carly's I-Pear laptop. Carly and Melanie sighed together, as they watched the peaceful pair, wishing they could freeze the two in time at that moment. "I knew we were right!"

Came Carly's excited response to the picture in front of them. Melanie nodded in agreement as she choked back a low sob. Spencer, crouched behind the couch looking over the girl's shoulders at the image had to nod himself, lost in old memories of Sam and Freddie throughout the time he'd known the two.

Spencer was sure that this was just the beginning of the process that would some day put the two together, but he was glad to finally see it coming to pass. He still remembered when Freddie had told him about the Semester at Sea program, and how he had given up his chance to live that dream for Sam.

Whether Freddie had realized it then or not, Spencer had seen it starting. The way Freddie had blushed as he told the story, and the hot under the collar anger he'd had in his eyes when he mentioned Missy.

It was enough to make Spencer proud, seeing how the two of them had finally started to grow out of their teenaged awkwardness, and start thinking like adults. Their confused feelings of hatred finally being unveiled for their own eyes for what they really were, thinly disguised caring.

Spencer liked to think as he watched the two grow up over the years since he had met them, that he had done more then just watch. He liked to believe that he had influenced their maturation to adulthood. Especially Freddie. While he had been their for Sam, he knew that she had grown up more of her own accord, having to lookout for herself with a mother who so often forgot to do so, to the point that it had often left Spence sitting up in bed at night, when Sam would sneak in through their front door after picking the lock, and crash on the couch. She would always leave in the morning locking the door behind her, and it had always made him want to just throw the door of his bedroom open to tell her she was welcome to stay. But Freddie, he was different, he had no Father figure in his life, and being a boy it was harder on him then even Sam's life had been on her without her own. Yes his mother cared for him to no end, but a boy needed a man to look up to, and though Spencer had never tried to force himself on Freddie or Sam as such, but he tried his best to be there for them both. Freddie had even told him before that he was the closest thing he had to a father figure in his life, though he preferred to consider Spencer a big brother.

That was around the same time as Freddie and Carly's break up. Maybe a month or so after he had returned to school, and he had told Spencer that he was glad to call Carly a friend, and would probably never want to date her again, because while he still loved her, it had grown in to a sisterly sort of love.

"Good luck you two crazy kids, good luck," Spencer said with a wide smile, just before closing the screen, as the two had separated from one another up stairs.

"Good night Sam," Freddie said, as he headed down the stairs from the studio. A smile crossing his face as he walked away from the most wonderful five minutes he had ever spent in his life.

"Good night Freddie," Sam said, before adding in once Freddie had passed out of ear shot. "Thanks for the dance."

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**Okay everybody, hope you liked reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, and I hope you'll enjoy Chapter III when it hits soon too. Tomorrow I'll be releasing both Chapter III, and a new fic set in Tree Hill from One Tree Hill. Check it out if you're interested, and please, as usual R and R, it helps my process :P**

**Yours on the screen ~ Frank**


	4. Chapter III: iT's not a White Christmas!

**Hey everyone, sorry for the extra long wait, I've been going through hell this last week.**

**Lost my job, and my place of residence both within the last few days, but I still managed to pump out this chapter for you guys, which while not the best thus far (at least in my own opinion), does give the most to the story, so I hope you like it. Please as usual read and review, oh, and for you who don't already realize this: I DON'T OWN JACK!!! Read previous chapters for the rest of the disclaimer Chiz. Love yah guys, laterz.**

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**Frank Bigoski presents: iCarly: iT's Been A Long Time Coming; Chapter III: _iT's not a White Christmas!_**

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This was it. Time to shop for Christmas presents, and if there was some way to hint to the lioness that her favorite gazelle had more then just prey/predator ideas in mind regarding her, the perfect gift would be it. Freddie Benson was no fool. He knew not to by Sam anything typically girly, like perfume, or bath and body wash type things. No lingerie (unless he wanted to lose use of his eyes for life), no chocolates because well, she'd inhale them and that wouldn't grab her attention for more then a few seconds. A subscription to "The Bacons of the World" wouldn't even do, some jack ass had already tried that and failed, all they found out was the Sam loved Bacon, not the boy who gave it to her.

Freddie had to consider every possible option, and then something hit him as he was walking by the food court. Or should we say that a smell hit his olfactory senses, and the next thing you know, he was sitting down with two foods in front of him. One that equaled in his eyes, wild and crazy carefree, restless and ADHD ridden Sam: Fish Sticks. The same Sam that he would have to appease with his gift to be able to effectively show her the meaning behind the gift to begin with.

The other, he had barely caught the scent of the amazing, soothing, soul claiming meat stuff, when his eyes shot up to look upon the specials list at the deli. Today's BLT had been made with… dun, dun, dun…

"Bolivian Bacon," Freddie said, his lips curling up at the sides. This food he thought reached more in to the Sam that no one knew, the introspective Sam, the quiet attentive Sam, the Sam he needed to reach with his gift.

Freddie began to eat, starting with a bite of one of his fried battered fish sticks, and then one from his Bolivian Bacon BLT. This decision was going to be near impossible. "Ah Sam, why for art thou such a mystery unto this one who seeks to know you so?" Freddie asked, doing his best Shakespearean era English, which caused a smile to form on his face, as he continued to contemplate his dilemma.

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On the other side of the city, in one of the rougher neighborhoods of town, a small Dojo rests beneath a family owned Filipino Restaurant. Inside that dojo, hammering away relentlessly at the heavy bag hanging from the center of the practice mat, stood one solitary Samantha Joy Puckett. Sam was angry, mostly with herself, and partly with Freddie for being so irritatingly cute. Yeah, you saw that right, she thought Freddie was cute, shocking isn't it?

Well, it was shocking her too. So much so that choosing a Christmas present for Freddie had become nigh impossible. Usually she'd just get Freddie some sort of a gag gift that would blow up in his face, or spray him with stinky fumes of some sort. Now that she'd started to realize her feelings for the nub though, that wasn't going to fly. She was actually going to have to take in to account his feelings and think about what he liked to do, and the things he was in to, which meant Sam actually had to (pause for dramatic effect) consider someone else's feelings.

"GRRRR!!!" Sam growled as her fist collided with the bag, sending it flying backward with incredible force. This dojo belonged to Sam's adopted Uncle, a neighbor who had lived next door to her family since before her dad had runaway. He had been the closest thing to a Father figure in Sam's life as an adolescent that she had ever had. He had tried to teach her how to block out her emotions and fend for herself within these very four walls, teaching her to block, parry, strike, and deflect. Teaching her to let go of all emotion, and move on instinct, teaching her to survive. Now as Boy Castillo watched his adopted "niece" swing angry blows in to the heavy bag hanging from the center of his practice mat he had to shake his head in disappointment. This was not what he had taught Sam.

"I didn't teach you to angrily wail away at a bag any more then I taught you to angrily wail on an opponent Sam, I know you don't use your martial arts when you bully the kids in your school. So I would appreciate that when you're in my dojo you don't throw your wild animal punches around my sparring mat like you would when fighting some boy at Ridgeway." Boy said, as he stepped forward on to the mat after bowing towards the room in the proper Kajukenbo practitioner's faction.

"Sorry Uncle Boy," Sam said, looking over her shoulder and breathing heavily as she rested her hands on her knees and bent forward to catch her breath.

Boy was wearing target gloves as he approached Sam, which he clapped together and then held up in her direction as he asked his next question. "So what seems to be bothering you Sam?"

"A boy," Sam admitted almost too quickly, which caused her to raise her own eyebrow, had she really just admitted what was wrong? Well, she had at least hinted at it. But of course this was Uncle Boy, her Kajukenbo Professor, and closest confidant in the world other then Carly of course, such a well kept secret in her life in fact, that Carly didn't even know about him.

"Let me guess, this Fredwierdo kid you always used to complain to me about," Boy said, as one of Sam's spinning heel kicks made stiff contact with the glove on his right hand. He threw a punch at Sam's abdomen, which she easily avoided with a side step, and responded to with her own punch, stepping in to her target as she hammered the Boy's left hand with the Kenpo style full body punch.

"How did you guess?" Sam said, raising a brow again as she questioned the middle aged Filipino man standing before her, pausing in her workout for a moment. It was weird how Uncle Boy could do that, ever since she was a child, he could just kind of read her like an open book, something no one else other then Melanie could do, and not even her so much anymore.

"Well, not too hard Firecracker, considering he's all you've talked about since he left back in July for that school in Spain you told me about." Boy said, as he stripped off the gloves and tossed them toward Sam so he could start practicing his own swings, his son Boy Jr. was visiting the Philippines with his mother, who had gone to Manila to visit her mother and attend a cousin's wedding., so Sam had been spending almost all her time apart from sleeping, and hanging out with her little brunette friend Carly, there at the dojo keeping him company. She had always been a good person to have around for Boy, and it shocked him to this day that his old protege, and one of his own best friends from college, Sam's father, had up and left his amazing little girl the way he had. He knew if he had a daughter with such a kinetic and energized personality he would want to spend all the time he could with her.

Sam thought about her next response for a moment, contemplating what all she should tell Boy, but then she realized that her Uncle would get the whole story out of her one way or another, so she might as well start at the beginning as he swung punches at her hands while she did her best to give him moving targets. "Well, you see Uncle Boy, it goes like this…"

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The next evening at the Christmas Eve Party that Gibby's mom was throwing at their house:

"Hey Gibster, what's going on my man?" Sam, who sported an unusually girly outfit for her, asked to a shocked Gibby, who had been cringing ever since she walked in to the house. Though she didn't look quite as feminine as Melanie, who was decked out in a purple and pink jersey-dress, and black leggings, with purple heels, and a black hair band with inlaid metallic pink and purple threading, Sam's look was still enough to put Gibby on his toes. Sporting some white form fitting skinny jeans, a pair of black and white Converse, with the laces loose, a black halter top that had a white tribal print along the fringe, and a white and gray hoodie with a black Japanese Kanji on the back for "Bad Girl", that was generally tight fitting, Sam was showing a lot more skin and curve then he was accustomed to. She hadn't insulted him or thrown a punch his way either, in fact, she'd walked up and gave him a high five. If Gibby was anything, it was observant, and what he was observing right now was just plain weird. Was Sam Puckett putting an effort in to appearing girly? It must have been something to do with the smile on her face that he saw get exponentially bigger when Freddie had walked in right behind her and Carly.

"Nothing much Sam, so uh, how's vacation treating you guys?" Gibby asked of his three semi-popular-crowd friends the originators of iCarly, as they entered his home together.

"I'm gonna go with awesome Gib, what about you guys?" Carly said, looking toward Freddie, who Gibby now looked to as well. A stare of adoration fell upon Freddie as she asked this, his once awkward best guy-friend having toned out quite a bit over the last two years, was now standing at least 2 inches taller then he did, and sporting a white button up over a form fitting white a-shirt, buttoned all the way till the last three buttons, and a pair of black loose fit jeans, crisply ironed, with a golden thread trim and design on the back pockets, Freddie was catching appreciative looks from every girl in the building.

Carly as well looked her usual amazing self to Freddie's left in a pair of blue short heels, a blue shiny material blouse, which was semi low cut in front, to show off a little bit of skin around Carly's upper chest, but not so much that it was slutty, and a pair of lighter blue, so pale they almost looked white, capri pants underneath. If they weren't his friends Gibby may have been jealous, while he had lost some weight the past few months, and cut down his gut size considerably, though not completely, he just didn't think his blue boot cut jeans, gray button up, and white tee combination held a candle to the three internet stars. He himself might have been Freddie's replacement on the show, but the popularity still hadn't quite rubbed off on him yet, and he felt like that was probably do in part to his generally out of shape physical condition, and the stripping his shirt off at random times probably didn't' help.

"Pretty good Gibby, pretty good, it's nice to see everybody doing well," Freddie said, with a smile, and a slight nudge to Sam with his shoulder, which made her smile even wider. "Especially you three, you guys have always been my best friends after all," Freddie finished.

"You too Fredducini," Sam said with a smirk, before nudging him back with her own shoulder. Now it was time for Gibby to snap out of his adoration for his friends and their popularity, and grow concerned. In fact, Gibby began to worry more and more, while he had noticed Sam's evil streak tapir off a bit in Freddie's absence,( and he hoped it meant that she was growing out of the bully life) he wasn't a complete optimist. When habit shows that someone can't change, you don't just up and one day believe that they can.

Gibby was starting to shake violently expecting an eruption of fists flying, and screams of agony from Freddie. It was never good when those two were that close to each other. Even though he had been noticing how Sam's violent tantrums had been decreasing the last few months, even before Freddie was gone, and almost ended completely when he left, he couldn't help but think that the lack of action during his absence would push Sam over the edge at his house tonight.

"So Carly, you want to dance?" Gibby asked, not wanting to be around when this new found camaraderie between Freddie and Sam melted down. He hoped he was wrong and that the two were finally starting to get past their childish hatred for one another, and that Carly and Melanie's whole plan to get the two together during Christmas Break (yeah, he didn't think they were in their right minds, but he wasn't going to tell to determined women that they were wrong, he wasn't suicidal) would work, but he wasn't foolish enough to stand in the blast zone if it didn't.

"Uh, sure Gib, but wont Tasha get mad if you dance with someone else?" Carly asked with a raised brow, stepping around her other two best friend to offer a hand out to Gibby, a slight blush on her face as she did so, which fortunately for her went unnoticed by Sam and Freddie. Also fortunately for her Melanie had arrived much earlier, cause she didn't need her best friend's sister trying to set her up too, their teamwork on making Operation Seddie (yes she had given Sam and Freddie a relationship-nickname anybody have a problem with that?) happen was enough matchmaking for one Christmas Break.

"Oh, Tasha and I broke up a few weeks ago, I guess it just slipped my mind," Gibby said, his voice trailing off a bit as he did. It saddened him to think about the break up, because it seemed like as he had started to lose weight and tone up a bit these last few months, though he still had a bit of a gut, and a little extra meat in the love handles, and the better his condition got the more the heat had started to fizzle in his relationship with his long time girlfriend Tasha. "I think she loved the size more then the guy," Gibby kind of murmured under his breath, hoping that Carly didn't hear the sadness in his tone. He wanted her to enjoy the evening, and he knew that if she was worried about him she probably wouldn't, she was just that kind of friend. Besides which, he was starting to think that he just might be able to fall for another girl, this one a long time friend.

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The party was in full swing within a few hours, and Freddie and Sam had just made their ways to the punch table on the deck in the back yard to escape all their fellow screaming piers. "Hey Freddie, how's it going?" Sam asked, as she approached the object of her recent thoughts.

"Doing good Sam, how about you?"

The moment passed, slowly, but surely. Each watched the other for any sign of truth regarding their feelings for one another, but none came. Both were two stoic masks of formality, and lack of concern. The two each seemed to be living in their own little worlds, and that was exactly what they had wanted.

Freddie was the first to speak up after their brief intermission. "You know Sam, I have something for you."

His offer came with a pause that seemed to linger, leaving a request of unknown proportion or cause with it, but Sam did not care. She as well had a gift for Freddie, but the custom made Boken from the streets of Japan town, custom carved by a local sword-smith and Kendo instructor there, was forgotten as soon as Sam had heard his words. Now her mind swirled as she attempted to find the truth within Freddie's statement, what could the boy who hated her, and yet she loved so much, have brought here for her, she pondered.

"I hope you like it," Freddie said, as he pulled a small box from behind his back, small enough in fact to have fit in to the back pocket of his pants. He held the blue velvet box up toward Sam, who stood in admiration of the fine material, while she wasn't the biggest fan of velvet, or silk, or any other such fine material, she loved the color blue, as well as black, and brown, but that was a different matter entirely. The box, vaguely rectangular, and about the length of a ruler stood out for Sam's eyes to peruse.

"What is this?" She pondered aloud, as she reached forward for the box, which Freddie almost too easily relinquished. She wasn't sure what it was, but something about the attractive packaging, and the manner in which he had presented it to her, made her leap for joy internally. Soon she was opening the box, only for her rapidly beating heart to stop suddenly, and uncontrollably of its own accord, at least for a moment.

Sitting within the white silk interior of the necklace case before her now appeared a fine set of Pearls. Each shined to perfection, and at their center lying a fine pearl cameo pin, which was carved in to the shape of two feminine faces, and one male one. To Sam, these faces were herself, Carly, and Freddie, but to the young man holding the box, they were so much more. One face, wild and free, crowned with crazy curly hair, was the face of the Demon, the Sam he knew so well. Another face, strong of jaw, but marked with fearful eyes, staring blankly ahead from the pin's center, represented him, madly in love with the demon, but afraid of the consequences. While the last, serene and beautiful, capped with the same wild curls, was the Sam he wished to know, the one who only revealed itself to him in the most inopportune moments.

"Freddie, it's beautiful, I don't know what to say," Sam said, reaching out for the pendant and necklace with an errant hand. Freddie reached forward to grab her hand, while pulling the necklace from its case in the same instant with his other hand. Reaching upward toward Sam's neck, his eyes met with her own for the briefest of seconds as he smiled, and bent forward ever so slightly. Wrapping his hands behind her neck with the two clasps, Freddie went to make his attempt at pinning the necklace in to place around the beautiful blonde's throat, only to be stopped by tears.

* * *

The tears that brought a cease and desist to his actions came from none other then Sam herself. Here she was, receiving everything she had ever dreamed about, and all she could do was begin to cry. The tears flowed more and more freely, and the next thing Samantha Joy Puckett knew, she was swiveling on her heels. After that, she was running, sprinting with every insignificant pound of force which she could exert through her legs. At the moment all the strength in the world, more or less Seattle, and even more so Gibby's house, was not enough. She was still too slow.

Sam Puckett had just gotten everything she'd ever wanted in her life. A boy she liked had noticed her above Carly. He had given her a beautiful gift. He had taken precious time out of his evening to make her feel special, and he had succeeded. So why was it that she was currently running away in utmost fear and panic?

She feared appreciation. She feared love. More importantly then any other fear, she feared Freddie Benson more then anything, because he could puncture her armor. He could see the truth in her heart, and he could give her love despite it all. So she ran, she ran with all the might her small but strongly muscled legs could provide her. She bolted for the doors, and then the side walk, then hailed a cab.

The next thing she knew, she was at home, holding the cameo pendant and pearl necklace aloft in her hands, tears flowing from her frost blue eyes unapologetically.

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**Sam acts tough, Freddie questions himself, and Carly, Mel, Gib and Spence try to work things out for themselves, as the love connection everyone had planned on comes to a head. Find out what happens next issue in "I'm not to fond of New Years."**

**~Frank**


	5. Chapter IV: i'M Leaving my heart in Sea

**I don't own iCarly, or any of that chiz. Wish I did, but I don't. So unfortunately that means we'll probably be waiting until the final season of iCarly for any real Seddie moments (if they follow the typical teenage sitcom archetype).**

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**This chapter will be Freddie's last chapter in Seattle, and we're going to wrap up any loose ends up until this point. What will happen between Sam and Freddie, and what will Carly do in response to Sam and Freddie's last moments together? Read on and find out.**

**Oh, and there's some serious smexing/smexy moments in this chapter, so just a warning, the cursing has happened in earlier chappies, but this one takes the cake on cursing, and definitely earns the mature rating. This is my first published Lemon, though I've written a few in my day, hope you all enjoy it, read and review at let me know what you think if you don't mind.  
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**Oh, and Gibby can do the worm, just in case y'all didn't know.**

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**Frank Bigoski Presents: iCarly: iT's Been a long time coming, **

**Chapter IV: I'm leaving my heart in Seattle**

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He was speechless. Freddie Benson, the kid who had a snappy come back for anything anyone ever said to him, other then Sam Puckett of course, was speechless. For one very good reason in fact, he had no words with which to express his current feelings. He was worried, he was scared, he was confused, and maybe more then a little bit disappointed. All for that one reason, all because of her, all do to the fact that when he had given her the cameo pendant, Sam Puckett had run away in tears.

So now he stood alone, staring off the second story balcony where the two had been talking away from the hustle and bustle of the party. Where he had thought, if only for a moment, that his gift had pierced the armor of the Sam everyone knew, and reached the one that he wished he saw more often. He thought for a second that he had reached the Sam that he had fallen for, through the brief glimpses of her that he was allotted over his life.

Then the moment had passed, and she was gone. He recalled tears in her eyes as her legs gave her flight, sending her flying from the balcony, and down the stairs. He hadn't even registered as she ran down the driveway, and across the street. He didn't snap out of the shock he'd fallen in to when she started running until five minutes later. He ran down the stairs to search for her, to tell her that he was sorry for making her cry. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, so that he could make it better. He couldn't stand to see Sam cry, not his Sam, never his Sam.

She was gone, Carly and Melanie were both standing outside, texting away on their phones trying to get a hold of her. After briefly stopping to ask them where she'd headed, Freddie was down to the side walk in a flash. He had no transportation, and the rain was coming down now, heavy, soaking him to the bone, but he didn't' care. All that Freddie could think of was getting to Spencer and Carly's apartment, and to Spencer. Spencer would give him his motorcycle keys, he had to give them to him, or he would never catch Sam.

* * *

Soon he was climbing the stairs at the apartment complex, having shot by Lewbert in the lobby, ignoring his screams about "muddy foot prints in his lobby." The next he knew he was standing, dripping wet between his door, and the Shay's, knocking away at the latter fervently.

"Spence!" Freddie called, hoping his friend would open before his own mother was alerted to his soaking wet state in the hall way and tried to usher him inside for a tick bath. "OPEN UP!"

A somewhat groggy Spencer Shay opened the door, brushing a piece of ribbon and wrapping paper out of his hair, and blowing a second ribbon from his shoulder. Freddie didn't have the time right now to ask, as Sam already had at least an hour's lead on him, between having left earlier then he had, and the fact that she'd taken a cab, but he would ask why Spence had been covered in wrapping components tomorrow. "Keys, I need to borrow your motorcycle!" Freddie almost yelled at Spencer's face before he even had the chance to fully wake up.

"Uh, do you have a Class-M license Freddie?" Spencer said, shaking free enough cobwebs to at the least verify the legality of letting Freddie use his bike.

"Duh, did you forget you took me to get one after I begged you on my 16th? Because mom wouldn't even take me to get my Class-C, you got Socko to let you use his truck, and you took me to get both." Freddie said in amazement, how could the steel trap memory possessing Carly Shay be this forgetful goof ball's biological sister? As intriguing as that was right now though, getting to Sam was more important.

"Well, what do you need the bike for Fred-O?" The eldest Shay sibling asked.

"Sam, I uh, well we were at Gibby's and she kind of took off after I gave her my gift, I need to make sure she's okay." Freddie explained, as quickly as he could.

"Bout time," Spencer mumbled under his breath, turning around to retrieve his keys from the coffee table. "Tell Sam I said Merry Christmas, and Happy Kwanzaa, and all that good stuff 'kay kiddo?" Spencer furthered, as he tossed his keys toward Freddie.

"Sure thing," Freddie caught the keys and spun on his heel to bolt, calling a can do over his shoulder. When he got to the parking garage though, Freddie was stopped in his tracks by his mother, tapping her foot as she stared him up and down from head to toe.

"Fredward Bens…" Marissa went to admonish her son, only to be cut off by a held up hand.

"Not tonight mom, when I get home you can ground me forever if you feel like it, hell, tell me I can't go back to Barcelona, whatevs. Right now, Sam needs me, and I have to go," He said, before running to the far end of the parking complex, where Spencer's motorcycle waited. Hopping on, Freddie gunned the ignition foot switch, and pulled the throttle on the handlebar, revving the engine to life and taking off from the parking garage. The only thing the young man left in his wake was a cloud of dust, and the dejected, mortified look on his mother's face, as she stared in to said cloud in shock.

* * *

On the other side of town, Sam had just scrubbed the last vestiges of make up from her face, and changed in to a pair of loose fit sweats, an a-shirt tank top she'd stolen from Freddie before he left during the summer, and a "Tap Out" hoodie, before heading out her front door. Before she reached the side walk, there was Carly, and Melanie right beside her, Gibby standing behind the girls a few steps at the side of his car in the home's driveway. "Trying to leave, you're all kind of in the way," she said curtly, before trying to push bye.

Of course, they were having none of it, and the two girls in front of her were the only two people she knew who didn't fear her (well, people of her own generation). "What?"

"Sam, we came as soon as we figured where you were headed, we thought you'd go to my place, but Spence said you hadn't been bye there," Carly explained. "What happened back there with you and Freddie?"

"Nothing, what makes you think that Fred-nub would have anything to do with me leaving?" Sam said, holding a stoic front that she hoped would hold up to the two pairs of eyes perusing her.

"Because Sam, we know you. Carly may not be our sister, but she might as well be, shoot I'd even go as far as to say she could be a triplet, she's almost got the telepathy thing down," Melanie exclaimed. "Give it up, we know something happened between you and Freddie, and we want to know what.

"This did," Sam said, pulling the necklace from the pocket of her hoodie and holding it up to the two's eyes, deciding to just get things done with so she could get out and find some peace by herself. "Okay, you see, I bought him a cheapo stick with some fancy calligraphy carved in it, and he bought me the most expensive string of pearls I've ever seen in person." Sam said, holding the Cameo Pendant and pearls up for their adoring eyes, as the two girls latched on to one another squealing Sam's name in a high pitch.

"SAM!" The two girls giggled in unison, Gibby still standing awkwardly behind them, but holding a hand up to his chin while nodding approvingly as she showed off the pendant. "Do you know what this means?" The two asked again, almost in unison, showing just how close Carly was to being a triplet.

"What, that I got Freddie a lame gift, and he deserves way better?" Sam said, gulping after she ended the question, having to wonder if she had really just admitted that Fredward Alan Benson deserved something _better._

"No, Freddie has feelings for you Sam, Jesus, I noticed for god sake, and I haven't spent nearly as much time around him since he's been home as Carly has!" Gibby finally said, throwing his two cents in over the girl's shoulders, before backing away to lean against his 96 Honda Accord's front driver's side door.

"Um…" Sam was dumbstruck, that even Gibby had confronted her about her actions. "Well… I…" the sapphire eyed girl stuttered, jaw going slack. "If he cared so much then where is he?" She finally decided on going with the defensive front, hoping that might save her some face.

It did no good. "He's on his way here," Carly said, showing Sam the instant message she'd just got on her Pear Phone from Spencer, saying he'd practically took off like a bat out of hell on Spencer's motorcycle five minutes earlier.

"Well good, that means I've got time to think," Sam said, before finally pushing past the two girls she cared most about in the world. Throwing a thoughtful glance back over her shoulder she had to hold back the frown creeping across her face at the thought of confronting her feelings for Freddie, and said nerd all in one evening. "When he gets here, tell him I needed to escape, he'll get the point."

Those were her last audible words, before she took off at a sprint, easily taking a block's distance before Carly and Mel had reached the side walk to try to catch the direction she had gone. "Well if that wasn't cryptic," Melanie said, but if Carly was right, she thought that she may know exactly what the message behind Sam's words was. She hoped that Freddie would understand it too.

* * *

Freddie panted in frustration, as he returned back to Spencer's motorcycle, parked haphazardly at the base of the Puckett household driveway. "Good luck Freddie!," came the call in unison from his two good friends, and the sister of the demon he was chasing through the city. Hopefully this would be the last leg of his journey tonight, between all the activity at the party, and the stress he'd been under since giving Sam her gift, Freddie was beginning to fall apart.

'Be a man Fred-nub!' Sam's voice played in the back of his mind, spurring him on to remain vigilant as he shot through traffic, it was Christmas eve, and there were a lot of travelers on the road at the late hour heading home from parties throughout Seattle. He was being doubly careful not to damage Spencer's bike, and not to get himself injured, knowing he would have a hard enough time with his mother when she confronted him about his "teenage angst" later. He didn't need her fawning over his wounded body as well.

* * *

Soon he was standing at the door to the Shay's apartment again, the drive having slipped from his mind as if it had only lasted a moment. Once Spencer opened the door, Freddie handed the other man his keys, and bolted down the hall, not wanting to take his own exist to reach the Fire escape, he'd have to start on the first floor. "Good luck Fred-o!" He heard Spencer call over his shoulder, and he just smiled, apparently all of their friends had been getting the feeling that the two of them were in to each other even before they had realized it.

"Note to self," Freddie joked aloud. "Ask Carly and the others why no one ever pointed out this whole Sam thing to me sooner!" He almost yelled the second half, again having shot through "Lewbert's Lobby" ignoring the man's hollering completely, before bolting out in to the cold once again, and running around the corner to reach the bottom of the Fire-Escape.

"Great!" Freddie called out, seeing that the ladder to the second floor was currently raised, meaning he would have to jump up to it, off of some slippery surface, to try to lower it. Fortunately for Freddie, both Fencing, and Kenjutsu, as well as the soccer lessons the guys at school had been giving him, gave great increases to one's balance, regardless of the surface. So it was going to be a climb huh? Anything to get this night over with and finally tell Sam how he'd been feeling about her for these past months, he just hoped he could tell her everything before she threw him off the balcony. While he had gotten a lot tougher over the past year, he still didn't think he could take the demon.

After shimmying up the wall by way of getting a running start, and springing off of a large recycling dumpster, and a concrete lip on the wall of the apartment building, he had a firm grip on the ladder It wouldn't shake loose though, and so he was forced to pull his weight up, which as hard as a feet at that would have normally been, was doubled by the additional weight of the water soaking his clothes, and the water flowing over the metal, challenging his grip the longer he was forced to hang there. Eventually managing to pull himself to safety, Freddie shook himself as dry as he could manage, and began climbing stair way by stair way, toward his destination.

'Fred-nub' and a punch to the kidney could be waiting for him.

Or, 'Fredducini' and a knee to the gut.

Or the ever classic 'Freddork' and some strange form of MMA style submission hold.

Any of that would be worth it to get the crushing weight off of his chest that had been living there for the past 9 months or so, driving him more and more insane as the weeks had passed. Crushing weight, appropriate as it was a crush that he was going to be getting off of his chest tonight. So as he crested the stairs to the 8th floor, and saw Sam huddled up in an almost fetal position in the window sill of the Fire Escape, he smiled. She never sat in either of the two lawn chairs he had sitting out here all the time, no matter how often he would catch her there, she'd always be at the window.

"Hey Freddie," she said, almost shocking him with two facts in that one statement. First, that she had greeted him before he had the chance to greet her. Second, and more surprising, that she had called him by his Preferred name, instead of one of her many mocking nick-names.

"Sam," he said, looking to her as he tentatively made his way toward her on the window sill. He still wasn't sure how she would physically react to him, and so he was playing this hand as close to his chest as he could.

"So uh, thank you for the pendant," Sam said, thumbing the Cameo in her right hand, as she now had it hanging from her left, examining the string of pearls under the moonlight. "Its beautiful."

Now or never, Freddie thought, as he watched her, and so his next words were so bold that they surprised even him. "Almost as much as you are…" He said, his voice slowly trailing off as he realized just how cliché he had sounded.

"Um, thanks, I guess, that was kinda, I don't know, sweet?" Sam said, stumbling over her words as she began shooting an appraising glance his way from behind hooded eyes. This boy was doing things to her stomach today that Lord only knows, no one had ever done to her. At first she had thought she was ill, which was what had caused the initial panic and run, or so she'd tried to tell herself. Then she'd thought it was confusion, which was what had made her turn home rather then come here, to this place, her special thinking place ever since that day so long ago. That had been false too, she knew what it was she was feeling, and she just didn't have the guts to admit it, because she saved that word for Ham, Carly, Spencer, and Melanie, her family and two adopted siblings/best friends. Oh, and bacon. Momma loved her bacon, just like her ham. That's right, Samantha Joy Puckett was in love with Freddie Fucking Benson, unbelievable, right?

"No need to thank me Sam," Freddie said, before reaching forward to pull her chin up so that he could get a better look at her face, and she could see his eyes. When she didn't instantly flinch away, more or less rip his arm out of its socket, he continued. "I'm just telling the truth. You're beautiful Sam, I've thought so for a long time, I just hadn't been able to bring myself to admit it."

"You're not so bad yourself you know, I can't even tell you how many times I've watched old iCarly episodes lately, just to see your face on the few takes that you weren't behind the camera." She admitted, feeling like someone had just lifted a five ton boulder off her back and tossed it aside, she unbundled herself, and stretched out a bit. Daringly, she allowed her right arm to travel to Freddie, and her fingers to brush his hair and shoulder a bit as she drew it back.

"Sam, I need to tell you something," Freddie said, grasping her trailing fingers before she could withdraw them completely, and holding them to his heart as he looked in to her eyes. "I stopped crushing on Carly a long time ago," Freddie said, pausing to allow the emphasis on "long time ago" to sink in.

Sam gulped, as Freddie grasped her hand, holding it to his heart so tenderly, allowing her to feel his racing pulse through his soaked shirt and jacket. She could see the sincerity in his cocoa colored pearlescent oculars, shining with an incandescent glow under the moonlight, as the rain clouds began to clear. "Freddie I…" Sam went to respond, but Freddie stopped her with a finger over her lips, a gesture which would normally get said phalange bitten off, but not tonight, and not if it was Freddie's.

"Just let me finish please?" He asked, to which she responded with a nod. "It started when we kissed Sam, all those months ago, and then when you helped me realize that with Carly I wasn't anything more then Bacon." Freddie stated these next to points very matter of factly. "But that was just the start of things, over time, it started getting hard for me to be around you without asking you if you wanted to go to the Groovy Smoothie, or his a movie, just the two of us." He continued on, which caused her to lean in to him a little, hoping to gain some warmth as she herself was soaked to the bone as well at this point.

She was so out of character right now, it even surprised herself, to the point that she was having to shake away thoughts of a little devil chastising her from her right shoulder about being nice to the 'Nub King.' Here she was, having run from him that same night to try and escape this kind of intimacy, and now they were practically cuddling on the Fire-Escape. It was something about this Safety Platform turned balcony that did strange things to her, no, she knew that wasn't right, but it sounded good in her head, for now.

"I started realizing that I wanted to spend time alone with you, just like I used to with Carly." Freddie started again after a brief pause to catch his breath, wrapping an arm around Sam with a smile, as he noticed her nuzzling in to him. "That's when Professor Imagawa contacted me about going to Barcelona, and I made a decision," Freddie, said, pausing again, this time as he swallowed hard, preparing to really come clean with his feelings.

Sam listened intently, and he noticed just how intrigued she seemed, as he looked down to see her blue eyes, shadowed by the fire-escape platform above them, seeming almost the same dark blue as the midnight sky around them, staring up in to his own chocolate brown orbs, imploringly. He knew what that hunger was, it was the hunger for validation, the hunger to hear more, the hunger he had seen in his own eyes for so many years with Carly, and then Sam herself. He was glad to see it there now, and she was glad to see the comforting light that glistened in his own at that same moment.

"I decided I would go to Barcelona, to train, and toughen myself up, so that one day I might be worthy of you Sam. I knew that as weak and nubbish as I was, you would never feel the same way for me as I did for you," Freddie began again, only this time to have Sam grab him roughly by the collar of his shirt, and pull him in to a kiss. His eyes went wide, his tongue froze, but his open mouth allowed her own free access, as she probed in to it. Her eyes locked on to his hard, and long, as the kiss continued, before she pulled away, just as he had started to respond.

"What the?"

"You needed to stop, because if I ever hear you say that you aren't good enough for anyone again, me especially, I'll have to beat your ass!" Sam exclaimed, pulling him down for another short peck on the lips, much more chaste, but just as adoring as the first.

"Freddie I hate admitting this, but I've had a thing for you even longer then that, ever since you first started crushing on Carls I think, I just couldn't stand watching you fawn over her for all those years. That's why it turned in to abuse eventually, I mean, I know I was rough around the edges when we met, but I was never as mean to you back when we were kids as I became once we were tweens, and you started chasing her coat tails." She explained, having let go of Freddie's shirt, and leaned back against the window, blowing on her hands to warm them, as she paused to let him digest.

"You mind continuing this inside?" Freddie asked, as he gestured toward the window to his bedroom with his head, "A lot warmer in there." He took the break in their dialogue as a moment to think about what Sam said, and absorb the new variables he had just learned about, before turning to her for an answer. Of course he would get one that was stereotypically Sam.

* * *

"You got any Ham?" Sam asked, and Freddie just laughed as he started to pry open his bedroom window. Soon they were sitting in his room, bundled up in a blanket and sitting on a pair of bean bag chairs in a corner in front of his floor heater, as if they had their own private fire place. They were no longer cuddling now, but they were still close enough for both of them to maintain the goose bumps even though they were no longer cold.

They continued their descriptions of the last few months, and finally got to the point where they had to say exactly what they were feeling. Sam gulped, as Freddie had so far done much more of the talking, and she thought it only right that she start the final admissions of the night.

"I came here to think Freddie, and I think that I might like you, um…" She drifted off for a moment, trying to think of some adjective to best describe how much she felt for him. "…A lot," she ended simply, but hey, that was one of the things that Freddie liked most about her to begin with.

"Sam, I hope that by now you know that I have feelings for you, and that they're probably deeper then anything I've ever felt before," Freddie said, again holding a finger to Sam's lips to stop her from cutting him off. "Including Carly," he finished her thought for her, answering the question which she never had to ask.

With everything said, and it being well in to the early morning hours, Freddie stood up and stretched, walking over to his bathroom door and stepping inside it to change in to the pajamas he had sitting on a shelf in the smaller chamber. After coming out, all dried and sitting next to Sam again, who had already borrowed some of his sweats and changed in the bathroom earlier, he leaned back against the bed and pulled her tight against him as he looked over to her, a smile playing over his face.

"So what does all this mean?" He asked, as she cuddled up to his chest, getting an arm wrapped around his waist as she wiggled in to his lap, which caused a low groan to escape him.

"I'd say it means you're mine now," Sam said with a smile, before she went back to attacking him with her mouth like she had outside. Kissing up his jaw line, to his ear, which she slowly nibbled on playfully, whispering a request to him in between love bites. "Fred-o…" She took one small nibble. "May I…" Then another. "Sleep…" and another yet again. "Here…" she said almost finished. Nibbling one last time on his ear, as she then finished the question in one shot. "Tonight? I have no way home, didn't bring any cash for a cab, and I can't risk you getting caught trying to sneak out. I want to be able to see you again before you get shipped back to Barcelona on the second."

"That would be best, I think," Freddie barely managed, as Sam's love bites slowly drove him over the edge, along with the subtle grinding she'd been doing atop his manhood. He was afraid to allow her to shift her weight too much, scared that she might notice his erection, and then tear it off and beat him with it. "We have to get you out before my mom wakes up though, she didn't work the night shift tonight, she got Christmas off since I have to leave next week, she didn't want to miss any time with me that she could afford." He explained, trying to cool the heat that she was causing to pool from the change in his blood stream by thinking of things involving his mother, unfortunately, Sam wasn't cooperating.

"Then I guess you had better keep your mouth busy." Sam stated matter of factly, as she began to grind against his now obvious erection with no shame, moaning herself as she pressed her mouth to his again, just in time to muffle his cry of "God Almighty!"

"That feels so good Sam, you have no idea what you're doing to me," he whispered as low as he could, which only caused his voice to sound deeper and huskier then it had grown in his months away already. Sam's own inhibitions granted much less then his own already, were gone at that point. Sam had dreamed about this moment since the first time she kissed Freddie, and then the first time she saw him with his shirt off when he was lifting weights at the school gym, prepping to leave for his private school in Barcelona. Now that she had him here, and in her power, she planned to get as much out of the few days they had to spend together as possible. He had to go back to school for six months, and she wouldn't see him again until June, so if they were going to be a couple, she needed some material to keep her mind busy while he was gone. Fantasy wasn't enough when she had the chance to think of actual experience.

"Shirt off now!" She panted against him, kissing a trail down his neck, and peeling off the old iCarly shirt he'd kept from their earliest days doing the show. It was so shrunk from laundry cycles, and already so much smaller then he would wear now after becoming a 'man', that it fit her snugly. It would have been loose on her those few years ago, but now her breasts had swollen, and curves were where rails once lay. Freddie's eyes went wide at the sight of Sam's nude torso, her breasts bra-less, as she hadn't worn one when she left home in the baggy hoodie, stood firm, and erect before his eyes. However their firmness was not to say that they were small, as each was at the minimum a large C-Cup, which caused the hormones in the teenage boy to rage out of control almost immediately, he began to kiss Sam's neck, and his hands groped her love handles, pulling her closer before beginning to raise up her sides.

Sam moaned as Freddie bit softly in to her shoulder blade, kissing, and then licking trails over the small red mark that he had created there, as his hands made their ways to just below the glorious mounds which she had so deftly hidden from his knowledge for all this time. Suddenly he stopped, and Sam looked down in to his eyes to see what was the matter, only finding a questioning response in his own. "Are you sure about this Sam? I mean…" But she cut him off with a finger over his lips, pulling his shirt off of him, and grinding down hard against his erection once more in answer.

The need for a verbal response was no longer evident, as Freddie's hands continued to rise, until each cupped a breast gently in their grip, massaging them carefully, and with probing pressure, not so much that it would over power the feel of his lips kissing a trail down her neck, and chest. Finally his lips found her cleavage, and he sucked hard, massaging a bit more firmly as Sam arched her back and moaned his name in to his neck, where she was steadily sucking away at his pulse point. "Oh god… Freddie… so good…"

He continued his work, flicking one nipple gently with a finger, while he teased another with his teeth, shifting her weight so that her sex now rested against his thigh, and so his erection was free to breath. Sam missed the feel of him rubbing against her through their equally flimsy pajama pants, and so she was soon massaging him with one of her hands through his pants, before beginning to lose herself to the sensations of his ministrations to her mammaries. "That's right Freddie, right there, oh yes…"

Freddie could barely keep his head from rolling off of his shoulders as Sam caressed his length through his pants. "Oh my god, Sam, you've got to stop that… oh god," Freddie murmured under her exploring hand, especially now that it had made its way in to the slit on the front of his pajama pants, and the one at the fore of his boxers, to stroke him directly. He moaned against her areola, as he took her right nipple in to his mouth to stifle the loud responses he was now issuing to her unabated assault upon his erect organ.

"Okay, that's it," Freddie said, mustering his strength to lift Sam off of his lap and lay her down on his bed, gently, but with enough force to show her that he wasn't going to be man handled like he used to be. At the least not when they were doing this.

He had her pants, and the sexy little boy shorts she wore below the flannel sweats she'd borrowed from him, to the floor in moments, exposing her lower lips to his appreciative view. She was shaven completely, which didn't surprise Freddie as he couldn't see Sam as the girl who maintained an airstrip or similar pattern. "That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," he said, which gained a flicker of red in Sam's already rosy cheeks, darkening the blood induced color even more. While she was no stranger to people telling her she was beautiful, having been a first runner up, and winner in beauty contests through out her life, she had never been seen naked by anyone other then her Mother, Sister, and Carly. Hearing him say that her bare sex was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, and this coming from a boy who had spent the last five months in one of the most beautiful cities in the world, she blushed with joy, and a bit of intermingled pride.

Sam's thoughts were snapped from her self appraisal as she felt a soft flicker across her labia, the lips of her sex spreading themselves open slowly to the delicate touch. She looked down through hooded eyes to see Freddie's face, buried between her thighs, his own muffled groans barely audible over the sounds of his tongue now vibrating delicately against her pussy. The next thing she knew she was grabbing a pillow to cover her mouth, because this boy, scratch that, this _man_ had her screaming to the high heavens his praises. "OH YES FREDDIE!" She hollered in to the soft downy throw pillow she had claimed as her silencing agent, as his tongue literally fucked her sex, causing the muscles inside her to expand and contract with each entrance, and then subsequent withdrawal of the most powerful muscle in his body (biological fact= the tongue, finally some proof of something she'd learned in science class) from within her. "So good…" She whimpered, as he continued about his work, until eventually her eyes rolled back, and she could do nothing but moan indecipherable nothings, as he had found her clit with his once again vibrating tongue. Now Sam had a few toys at home, although never having been with another human being, she was far from inexperienced when it came to getting herself off, and she knew this feeling well. When her muscles all contracted, and the nerves in her back tingled causing her to arch against Freddie's shoulders beneath her thighs, her hands involuntarily gripping his head and driving him harder to her. She was having an orgasm. That's right, Momma was getting off for the first time with another human being at the hands of Freddie Benson! "Freddie I'm cum… I'm cu… cu… CUMMING!"

As she started to come down from her orgasm, Sam blinked the bright spots away from her vision, looking up at the man responsible for her pleasure. Her knees were weak, and her body was taxed all over from the sheer intensity of the frigging his tongue had just given her, but she wasn't going to be selfish. Not today, not with Freddie.

"Come to momma Benson," she said, beckoning him toward her with a finger as she sat up. She laid him down on his back, and looked down in to his eyes as she straddled his lap on the bed. "You just gave momma her first orgasm with a partner, now she's gonna do the same for you," Sam said, before reaching to the corner of his bed for her sweats from earlier.

She pulled them to her with her left hand, as she reached back to "appreciate" Freddie with her other, running a hand down his abdomen until she clutched his girth with a firm grip, making him moan in to her mouth, which had claimed in in a deep kiss. She ran her hand along his length gently, up one, twice, then a third time, before running her thumb gently over his mushroom head, spreading the pre-cum gathered there around his tip with a soft massaging motion.

"I want this inside me," the blonde purred against his neck, as she slowly rotated around to give him an unadulterated view of her firm back side, stroking his length slightly faster now, as she raised the small plastic square she had pulled from her sweats to her mouth. She bit the corner of the package, and pulled, ripping the square open to reveal a red rubbery balloon resembling object, which Freddie instantly recognized from over her shoulder.

Soon she had unrolled the sheathing object over his erection, rolling her fingers up and down the now covered length a few more times, before rubbing it gently against her opening. A loud moan issued from deep inside each of their lungs, as Sam eased the tip slowly against her entry, whispering sweetly over her shoulder to her 'audience.' "Tell me what you want Fredwierdo," she teased.

"I want _you_," Freddie groaned, deep and throaty, against her back as he sucked on her supple flesh there, trying to distract himself from the pressure she was exerting on him, trying to hold back as long as he could. She was not being very cooperative though.

"Tell me what _you want from me _Freddie." She commanded rubbing his head against her sex once more, which caused a shiver to run up her spine. It was very hard to make him beg for it when she wanted it _so bad_.

"I want to be inside you, all the way inside you," Freddie responded, to which, Sam answered with one swift motion. She buried him to his hilt inside her, having long ago broke her maiden's head through over vigorous self gratification, she was able to take his length, though with some initial discomfort, with out bleeding, or too much pain. At first it was just the awkwardness of being so filled up, and then, she relaxed, allowing herself to enjoy the pleasure sensations that were shooting through her body, and letting herself go. "Oh god San…"

Freddie moaned in to her neck, trying to contain his volume as much as possible, and finding that to be harder and harder the longer he was inside her. Even without her moving she was just so tight, and wet, and _hot_ wrapped around his length like that. It was driving him mad, if he didn't do something soon he would explode before he ever had the chance to get her off, and that he wouldn't allow. "Okay Princess Puckett, if this is how you want it."

Sam mewled a deep and guttural sound as Freddie gripped her hips and lifted her almost completely off of his length, before slamming her down hard against him once more. "Freddie!"

The desired response echoing in his ears, the mocha eyed brunette lifted, and slammed the blonde wild child down on to his length once more. Another moan of approval, something involving "god," "mercy," and his name escaped her lips with the second thrust, before he truly got started. He had leaned Sam forward so that she no longer sat atop his lap, but she was on all fours, and he stood on his knees behind her, his feet against his headboard for leverage, as he drilled in to her. "Is that what you wanted Sam?"

She smirks as she hears his teasing question, passionately pushing back against him with everything she had. It was amusing that he had turned the tides on her with her previous teasing, but she was enjoying every second of it.

"Oh yeah Freddie, right there, oh god…" Sam whimpered, biting down on her hand when he thrust in to her again, thinking he had just found her G-Spot. She certainly wasn't able to contain herself without some sort of bridle, because with the pleasure he was sending shooting through every fiber of her being, she wanted to run out on the roof tops and scream 'Fredward Alan Benson is a Golden Fucking God!'

"Oh my god Sam you're so tight," Freddie said, as he drove in to her from behind. Her walls would clamp down tighter on him every thrust, and relax as he pulled back, giving him the most sensual form of massage he had ever felt, let alone imagined. Her moans below him, and exclamations of how good he was just spurred him on, and soon he had forgotten his worries about premature release, until she leaned back against him.

"I can't take anymore Freddie, oh god, oh god, OH FREDDIE!" Sam screamed, having lost all sense and able to control herself as he drove in to her with those last few strokes, forgetting their circumstance, and not sure she would care if she hadn't. She wanted the world to hear her screaming his name, because then they would know that he was hers. Freddie Benson was _HERS_!

The sudden shift of her weight against his shaft as she had reached her second climax that night claimed him. He felt his balls tighten, and the veins pumping through his shaft go in to overdrive, as his abdomen muscles strained, and his pelvic region tightened. "Oh god Sam, I'm cumming, oh god baby, I'm cumming!"

They rode out the waves of euphoria together, clutched tightly to one another, Sam having spun around so that she was face to face with Freddie. She lay on top of him like that for some time, just breathing in the heady masculine scent of him, tracing circles along his well developed chest. She smirked, thinking of what he had said about his training in Barcelona, and her influence upon his decision to go. She was glad to have helped him gain some freedom in his life, and having successfully pushed him to get stronger, not just physically as his well developed muscles showed, but mentally and emotionally as well. He had gotten tired of being her punching bag, and she had to admit, she was glad for it.

"You're the most amazing living thing in the world Freddork, I just want you to know that." She said, nuzzling in to his chest after she had draped his sleeping shirt over her, the one he'd been wearing before she pulled it off of him.

"So are you demon, so are you," he said, wrapping his arms around her possessively, as they both drifted off to a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

A few days passed between Christmas, and Freddie's leaving date, and life had gotten almost back to normal for the group of three intrepid friends, except that they all knew it had changed immensely for two of their number. Freddie and Sam still bickered, especially when Carly was in the room, but when one or the other thought she didn't notice, they'd hold hands, or they'd scoot a little bit closer together on the couch. "You guys are so obvious," Carly commented once, to which she received to incredulous looks and a hearty laugh from her brother as he continued to brown the beef for the spaghetti tacos they'd be having for dinner.

It was December 30th, and Sam had snuck up to Freddie's window at about 11:00 PM, not sure if his mom had the night shift at work that day or not. Too her pleasure, he opened the window with his shirt off, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that put his amazing body on display for her. His strong broad shoulders, his corded and muscled arms, his powerful neck which she couldn't wait to claim with her lips. Those amazing taut abs, and his hard chiseled chest which glistened with a thin sheen of sweat, she saw that the lights were off in his room, but those in the hallway leading down to his living room were brightly shining. "Hey Princess Puckett," he jovially said, a raised eyebrow evident on his visage as he offered her a hand, surprised to see her in the girly little outfit that she had put together.

"What happened, did Melanie and Carly steal all of your clothes?" He asked, as she climbed in to his room in a little blue denim skirt, with a slightly darker shaded denim jacket hugging her figure tightly. The bottom two buttons of the jacket were done, leaving the front hanging open to give him a view of her gorgeous cleavage that was prominently on display for him from behind a curve hugging button down, which was open just above the clasp of her black bra. "Whatever they did, I approve."

She smirked in response, glad that he was enjoying the little show that Melanie and Carly had indeed put on display for him tonight. Seeing as this would be the last chance they really had to be alone together all of the girls had wanted to make it special for them. "May I come in?"

Sam shot him a sly smile, as she made her request for entry as demurely as possible. He gulped, hearing the undertone of lust behind her words, his eyes tracing every last inch of her body, until they stopped at the Converse which she wore haphazardly untied on her feet, a thin grin crossing his features.

"Only you can look that sexy in some 'Verses," Freddie said with a grin, pulling her in through the window.

They small talked, and ate a take out dinner that Sam ordered for them, causing Freddie to smile once again, this one more private. She really seemed like changes had been coming over her since he'd left, and they were all good, nothing fake like he had feared she might try to do to impress him, like she'd done with that one blonde kid a while back (yes Freddie knew his name, no he didn't care what it was). Subtle changes, like wearing clothes that still had her style, but showed off a little more of her girly side (except tonight's makeover courtesy of Mel and Carls). Or her buying their dinner, even though he'd refused to let her pay the tip when it was dropped off, having slid a twenty to the delivery guy before he took off.

"That was a delicious meal," Freddie said, as Sam curled up in to his chest as they watched Never Back Down, one of her favorite movies. Freddie just yawned, pulling her in closer, and wanting to spend the rest of eternity with her there in his arms. It was going to be harder then hell for him to leave her in two days, that was for damned sure.

"Sure was," Sam responded, pulling at a loose string on Freddie's Hoodie, which he was now wearing, along with a pair of flannel print pajama pants. She was glad that he had gotten dressed to enjoy the meal with her instead of continuing his workout, because watching him do sit ups in his boxers had made her want to jump his bones right there. While that wasn't a bad idea, she did want to spend some of the night just enjoying his company before they got to the festivities of the evening.

"So, you know that I'm going to have to go back in a couple days…" Freddie said, getting wanting to get the dreaded conversation out of the way before it was time for him to leave. He was afraid that she would decide that this was a one time thing, a pity fling to give him the courage to finish up his schooling in Barcelona without being a total nub. He wasn't aware that she had meant every word she said those few days before, and that she was the one fearing him leaving and falling for some pretty Spanish girl more then anything else.

"Um hmm," came her simple response, as she just continued to watch the movie. She had wanted to avoid this conversation as long as possible, just as much as he had been wanting to get it out of their way. She didn't want to hear those dreaded words 'I don't think this will work with me half way across the world,,' or 'I think I could do better in Spain.'

"I want you to know that I'm going to spend every day of the next six months thinking of you," he said, to her utter shock. She looked up at him with those ice blue eyes, which he smiled down in to with a lopsided smirk plastered to his face. Her look of confusion must have been amusing, she thought, as his face seemed to be straining to hold back a laugh.

"I didn't think you'd want to make this work, what with you going back to school and all," she said, blushing slightly as she curled up closer to his chest. "I thought you'd break it off before you left or something."

Freddie was shocked, and utterly appalled that Sam could think he would ever do that to her. He had to defend himself against her statement, and so, he did just that, "I can't believe you thought I could be that shallow."

Sam frowned, seeing the sadness that had crept in to Freddie's expression, and she soon was straddling him, kissing up his jaw line as he attempted, although gently, to push her off. "I'm sorry Fredderly," she said, gently nibbling at his ear lobe, something she had quickly learned that he loved, "I was just scared, I've never felt like this before."

To that, he pulled her jaw toward his face, lining their eyes up with each other so he could see the truth in her apology. Once he had seen this, his eyes filled with happiness again, and he sighed. "You know one thing that will never change between us Sam, is that I'll never be able to stay mad at you."

His honest statement was followed by a chaste kiss to her lips, and then swiftly by another not so innocent one, this one trailing away from her lips, and down her jaw, to her neck. Then down the pulse of her neck, to her shoulder blade, as she pulled the hem of his hoodie up to run her hands over his chest.

"Here we go again," she mumbled, with a bit of a giggle, as the first article of clothing hit the floor.

* * *

As the two began to come down from their crazy romp through Freddie's apartment, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist as they lay on his bed, her back pressed against his front in an almost joint fetal position, he smiled. He had spent every possible moment these last few days trying to consider whether it was safe to say the three little words hinged on the tip of his tongue at this very second. After tonight, and the reassurance he had from her that she wanted to stay together as much as he did, he was certain that it was the right time.

"Sam," He said to her, probing the silence for the first time since their mutual screams of obscenities and prayers to the almighty had ended. "I need to tell you something…"

Sam rolled over to look up in to those gorgeous brown eyes, staring in to them with the most adoration she thought she'd ever shown to another human being. "What is it Fredderico?"

"Sam, I think that I'm," Freddie said, before pausing to swallow back his fear. "I think I love you."

Silence filled the room once again, as Sam froze in Freddie's arms.

* * *

It was the next night, the Shays were having a New Years Eve party at their house, and it was around 10:00, Freddie was supposed to be arriving shortly. Sam was sitting alone on the couch, sipping from a flask she'd snatched from her mother's collection earlier that day, trying to throw down as much liquid courage as she could. She was going to have to do the hardest thing she had ever done in her life tonight. She was going to have to break Freddie Benson's heart, because he had given it to her, and she just wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility. "Well here goes nothing."

* * *

Carly watched as Freddie threw her front door closed behind him, sending one of Spencer's small Fireworks statues crashing to the ground, where it fortunately landed on Gibby as he did the worm, stopping it from shattering. Somewhere in the back of her mind, the doe eyed brunette could have sworn she heard tears, tears coming from their studio, where only one other person could possibly be. She knew what had happened in that moment, as if the guy walking down the stairs with the perfect blonde hair, and the black eye wouldn't have told her the story well enough on its own.

Up the stairs she went, her Sam needed her.

* * *

10 hours later, Freddie was sitting on one of the Airport boarding kiosk's waiting seats, waiting for his flight number to be called, his head hanging in his hands. The woman he loved had broken his heart the night before, and he had cried. Oh how he had cried.

At first he was angry, screaming, red in the face, angry. Then sad, although the tears had started to flow before the anger stopped. Then he was just crying to cry, needing to release all that emotion, all the weakness that the tears had brought.

That's when he had gone online, searching the internet for the song that he had heard a few months before leaving for school that July, a song by the Young Money artist Drake. "Over," he read from the screen of his pear-pod, looking down at it, as he pressed play.

_"Before anything I just want to let you know. it's OVER_

_I know way too many people here right now_

_That I didn't know last year, who the fuck are y'all?_

_I swear it feels like the last few nights_

_We been everywhere and back_

_But I just can't remember it all_

_What am I doin'? What am I doin'?_

_Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm doin' me_

_I'm doin me_

_I'm livin' life right now, mayne_

_And this what I'ma do 'til it's over_

_'Til it's over_

_But it's far from over_

_Bottles on me, long as someone drink it_

_Never drop the ball, fuck are y'all thinkin'?_

_Makin' sure the Young Money ship is never sinkin'_

_'Bout to set it off in this bitch, Jada Pinkett_

_I shouldn't've drove, tell me how I'm gettin' home_

_You too fine to be layin' down in bed alone_

_I could teach you how to speak my language, Rosetta Stone_

_I swear this life is like the sweetest thing I've ever known_

_'Bout to go Thriller Mike Jackson on these niggas_

_All I need's a fucking red jacket with some zippers_

_Super good smiddoke, a package of the swishers_

_I did it overnight, it couldn't happen any quicker_

_Y'all know them? Well, fuck it, me either_

_But point the biggest skeptic out, I'll make him a believer_

_It wouldn't be the first time I done it, throwin' hundreds_

_When I should be throwin' ones, bitch, I run it Ahhhh!_

_I know way too many people here right now_

_That I didn't know last year, who the fuck are y'all?_

_I swear it feels like the last few nights_

_We been everywhere and back_

_But I just can't remember it all_

_What am I doin'? What am I doin'?_

_Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm doin' me_

_I'm doin me_

_I'm livin' life right now, mayne_

_And this what I'ma do 'til it's over_

_'Til it's over_

_But it's far from over_

_One thing 'bout music, when it hits you feel no pain_

_And I swear I got that shit that make these bitches go insane_

_So they tell me that they love me, I know better than that, it's just game_

_It's just what comes with the fame, and I'm ready for that, I'm just sayin'_

_But I really can't complain, everything is kosher_

_Two thumbs up, Ebert and Roeper_

_I really can't see the end getting any closer_

_But I prolly still be the man when everything is over_

_So I'm riding through the city with my high beams on_

_Can you see me? Can you see me? Get your Visine on_

_Y'all just do not fit the picture, turn your widescreen on_

_If you thinkin' I'ma quit before I die, dream on_

_Man, they treat me like a legend, am I really this cold?_

_I'm really too young to be feelin' this old_

_It's about time you admit it, who you kiddin', man?_

_Man, nobody's never done it like I did it Ahh!_

_I know way too many people here right now_

_That I didn't know last year, who the fuck are y'all?_

_I swear it feels like the last few nights_

_We been everywhere and back_

_But I just can't remember it all_

_What am I doin'? What am I doin'?_

_Oh, yeah, that's right, I'm doin' me_

_I'm doin me_

_I'm livin' life right now, mayne_

_And this what I'ma do 'til it's over_

_'Til it's over_

_But it's far from over_

_Yeah, that's right, I'm doin' me_

_I'm doin me_

_I'm livin' life right now, mayne."_

Now he was just silent. His eyes were empty of all thought and emotion, as was his head. He was practicing a meditation technique which he had learned from Professor Imagawa. He couldn't' wait to get back to Spain, Seattle having ended in more of a disappointment upon his return visit then he had even imagined it would be. He had to go back to Spain and stake himself a claim for a new life, away from his over bearing Mom, his overly attentive best friend Carly, his goofy neighbor/adopted big brother Spencer, and the demon they all called 'Sam.' The last time he had left it was to become stronger for all of them, he thought, this time, it was all for him. "Barcelona," he read off his ticket. "I'm coming back, and this time, I'm doing it all for _me."_

The song continued to play on his Pear-Pod, and he continued to nod his head to the beat. Freddie Benson was his own man, and that man was going to change, starting today.

"Yeah. That's right, I'm doin' me, I'm doin' me, and this what I'ma do 'til it's over, 'til it's over, but it's far from over," Freddie finished the song in tune with the recording, just as his flight was called. He might be leaving his heart in Seattle, but he was taking his pride with him.

_

* * *

_

**Okay, Freddie's gone gangster! No, J/K, he just likes Drake, what we have a problem? N/E Ways, Sam did something she regrets, and we didn't see it, will we find out later? Who's the blonde guy with the black eye? Why is Freddie so upset with the world? How did Sam break his heart? Why has he decided to live life for himself, and only himself? We'll find out over the next few Chapters as Freddie starts the process of "doing him."**

**Next Chapter: iCarly: iT's been a long time coming, Chapter V: I'm doing me.**


	6. Chapter V: i'M Doing Me

**ICarly: It's Been a Long Time Coming, Chapter V: I'M doing me**

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

**I don't own jack in this story, no characters, or any such things, so please don't sue me, I'm just a big and overzealous fan.**

**Not too sour this chapter so sorry for anybody who wanted to see more of that. It'll happen again, trust me. For now though, please enjoy the story, and don't kill me for letting Freddie find happiness, don't worry, it's all just a distraction. His heart is more broken then you will ever know, I'm not even sure I know, and I'm the one writing it. :P**

**Now, on with the show…**

* * *

He just stood there, staring off the balcony that overlooked the school square from his second story room in the men's dorm. His eyes were glistening with moisture that he still hadn't been able to completely banish from his experience two months ago. The night she had broken him, and turned him in to this. The night that rang out in his sleep terrors daily, reminding him of why he had to control the tears. She had done this to him. He had told her he was in love with her, and she had ripped his heart out and stomped on it. He had left the country in search of the strength and will power he needed to tell her how he felt, and he had found it. He had returned to her, with hopes and dreams of making her his, and for a moment, he even thought that he had. Then, it had all come crashing down. His own personal fantasy had turned in to a hellish nightmare. The months of planning and preparation to strengthen his resolve and give him the power to claim her as his, torn asunder in one single moment.

Stairs.

The Studio.

Sam's breath stinking of alcohol, as she stumbled out of some random jack ass's lap, and stood before him.

Words, oh, there were words said. Slurred words. Hurtful words. Hateful words.

Then a door slammed.

Then stairs again.

Then another slammed door.

Then the tears.

The same tears he was fighting now, that he thought he'd left dead and buried in Seattle.

He was almost ready to give up, maybe he really just wasn't meant to be happy.

Then the paper-star flew through his window. Colliding with his chest, the small paper shuriken resembling object fell haphazardly to the floor. He followed it with his eyes, one eyebrow raised. On it in black letters was the word "Broody," a nickname he'd sort of picked up since returning home. Yes, that's right, school was home now, not Seattle, never again would he be able to call Seattle that, at least not while the demon who still haunted his heart did so. Lifting the piece of paper from the floor Freddie raised an eyebrow, first, he thought: Who else would be up a 3 in the morning on a school night? Second, he pondered: and why would they be throwing me ninja-star notes through my window, all of the boys could just come right to his dorm door through their shared hallway.

* * *

On The opposite side of the world:

Sam hammered away at the punching bag in Boy's Dojo. Her right fist collided with the round speed bag sending it reeling back, as her left followed in short succession. A howl of rage, and pain, two months worth of bottled up emotion was released suddenly in that second swing. The chain was forced so hard that one link broke, sending the basketball sized leather satchel flying across the room. Tears began to fall from Sam's eyes as she fell to her knees, clutching her wild blond locks in her taped fists. The black and red athletic tape which her hands had been wrapped in strained against the force of her grip. Her eyes strained to stay open as she fought back the tears. Her heart strained to maintain a steady pulse, as she inhaled shallow breaths, trying to stop the panic attack from coming.

She'd been going through this more and more lately.

Ever since that night when she had broken his heart. The night that she had told the only man she ever really loved that he meant nothing to her. The night she had torn her own heart in to tiny confetti sized pieces.

This was the result.

Her, weak, and alone. All because she had been too scared to take responsibility for the heart that he had so willingly given to her. All because she had thrown said heart in his face, after chewing it up and spitting it back out. All because she had told the hardest lies she had ever been forced to tell.

_He entered through the door to see her draped over the random blond guy's lap, kissing him emotionlessly, forcing her tongue past the boy's lips. His chocolate brown orbs went wide in shock, and the clearing of his breath roughly through his throat told her that she had been given her cue to begin the act._

_She stood, pivoting on her heel to look him in those beautiful eyes. The eyes she would probably never get the chance to look in to again. The windows to his soul, and his heart, which he had so generously unlocked for her these last few days. The windows which she was about to figuratively spit in as thanks._

"_What do you want Fred-nub?" She asked, raising a well tamed eyebrow._

"_I wanted to see my girlfriend, but I guess I don't have one anymore," Freddie said, his eyes falling toward the ground, to avoid her gaze. He was hurt, and he couldn't let her see that. If he let her see the pain, then all of his training had been for not. He had become stronger so that he could survive this, or anything Sam Puckett threw at him, he couldn't throw that away now. Now that his newfound strength was really the only defense that he had. With his new strength he could take anything, he had to._

"_What makes you think you ever had one Dork-king?" Everything except maybe that._

"_You aren't good enough for me," Sam lied to his face, choking on her own words as she forced them from her lips. "You aren't good looking enough. You aren't tall enough. You aren't athletic enough, and well, quite frankly, you aren't cool enough," She spat at him, hoping to god that she looked convincing. Hoping he couldn't see how painful this really was for her from the hurt look in her eyes. She couldn't risk him seeing the truth, or she would crumble, resolve and all, right here in to his arms._

"_I see," Freddie said, spinning around so fast that Sam could barely register his movement. He was at the door to the studio in moments, but then his feet betrayed him, and he came up short. Slowly turning back toward Sam, who now had the blonde's arms wrapped around her from behind, pulling her down toward him. "Wait…"_

"_I believe she said to leave Fred-dork!" The blonde jackass spat, to which Freddie nodded, and turned away, running down the stairs._

_As soon as Freddie was out of ear shot, Sam turned on her nameless accomplice. "You stupid fucking bastard!" She said, leveling her aim off toward his right eye, as she sent a swift Kenpo punch flying toward his face._

_The surfer-dude stereotype was sent sprawling to the floor, his hand quickly raising to his face, to find an already swelling eye. "What the fuck you crazy bitch?"_

"_GET THE FUCK OUT! And don't ever let me hear you call Freddie Benson out of his name again, or next time you'll get more then a black eye. He is more of a man then you will ever be you stupid dick, and don't you ever forget that."_

_Holding his eye and scrambling in fear from the seething blue eyed demon's outburst, the blonde shook from head to toe after the threat. So that was what it felt like to be used by a member of the opposite sex, the nameless blonde thought, passing down the stairs, and almost bumping shoulders with the Brunette hostess of the party._

_As Carly walked in to the studio, she found Sam, her fist still clenched, and starting to swell from the heavy strike she'd laid in to Johnny, the blonde who'd just passed her on the stairs. Her curly haired friend sat, curled up in to an almost fetal position, crying in to her own knees. Carly instantly knew what Sam had done, and her arms were soon wrapped tightly around her friend, making circles on her back with her hands, and she tried to coo her in to a calm state._

Carly. That was what she needed, she needed her best friend, the only person who understood why she had done what she had. Not even Mel had truly realized why Sam had acted as she had, and Gibby, he didn't even care to ask. When she had tried to explain herself to he and the rest of the former couple's shared friends, Gibby had in no uncertain terms told Sam to fuck off. He was Freddie's friend, first and foremost, when Sam had still be hammering on the two of them and stealing his lunch money, or giving him a wedgie. Now she expected him to give her forgiveness, or even the time of day for that matter? No, he would not give Sam Puckett the benefit of the doubt, for that's all she was in his eyes now, was the bully he used to know. Carly was the only friend she really had left, her adopted sister, and maybe Spencer would understand, maybe, just maybe, her crazy pseudo-brother could help her piece things back together.

Grabbing her bag from the back room of the dojo, and pulling her keys from the side pocket, Sam was quickly out the front door, and moving with much haste toward the Shays, maneuvering her beat up old pick up as best she could through teary eyes, and a rain covered windshield. On the radio a year old Drake song started to play, and the tears that she had been trying to hold on to began to flow freely. The moment she heard those lyrics she broke, not because of some significant meaning that they held for her, but because his Ring Back (the tone you hear when you call someone in place of a normal ring on your phone) had been changed to this Young Money song just after he left back to Spain.

_I'm living life right now mayne, and that's what I'ma do 'til it's over, 'til it's over, but it's far from over._

_

* * *

_

Two weeks later, back in Spain:

Things were finally starting to look up, or so Freddie thought to himself.

His grades were back to normal, after having taken a dive when he first returned to S.V.A. from winter break. He was in the best shape of his life, and had made it in to the final cut for the tryouts for next year's basketball team at the Academy. His fencing and Kenjutsu were both improving so rapidly that he had been made Vice Captain of the team. And last but not least: the most popular girl in school had asked him out, and was now his girl friend of 2 weeks. That's right, Fredward Alan Benson was dating the hottest girl at Santa Victoria Academy, and he was the happiest guy in school. Or at least that's how it seemed to everyone other then said young lady.

Kimiko wasn't going to fall for it that easily. So as her sweat sheen covered boyfriend toweled off his chiseled abs, and stretched to his alarmingly increasing full height of five feet and ten inches tall, pivoting at the waist to stretch said abdominals after a grueling pickup game of "shirts and skins" in the school's gym, she approached him from behind. Tapping the rippling shoulder muscles of her attractive new beau, Kim, as she preferred her friends to call her, couldn't help but shudder at the feel of the corded muscles beneath her finger tips. "Hey babe, can we talk?"

Spinning around so that his chocolate brown orbs stared directly in to her own charcoal colored dark eyes, Freddie's smile instantly widened. That look would have told you he was happy enough, were it not for the hollowness in those very same brown eyes. Everyone else would have overlooked that, other than Ryo Sensei. He would have seen it for what it was, as did his prized pupil, Kim. It was the pain of loss. "Que pasa mi novia?"

The quirked eyebrow, and the cheeky grin aside, it was the look in the chiseled bodied man's eyes that made her melt. She saw that pain that they all noticed, his new friends at S.V.A. whenever one of them would try to ask about his Winter Holiday back in Seattle, but that wasn't it. There was an adoration there, an understanding, and a wanting, although she couldn't guess for the life of her if they were all there for her, she would be happy for just one of those emotions. Which is why she was here.

"Freddie, you know I like you a lot right?" Kimiko asked with an almost sheepish tone. Which anyone who knew the strong willed swordswoman would tell you, was completely out of character. She nervously fidgeted her feet around in front of her on the floor, waiting for a response from the handsome, shirtless, and oh so sexy man whom she had claimed as her own only a few short weeks ago.

Freddie smiled, raising a lazy hand to rest under Kim's chin and lift her eyes to look in to his own. "Hey now, don't hide those pretty eyes from me," he said with a wide smirk crossing his face.

"To answer your question, I do," Freddie answered shortly, waving a hand between them to show that Kimiko could continue.

"Well, I just want you to know that, because sometimes I don't think you realize how great you are, and I know that you went through something horrible when you went back home for the holidays. I figured that hearing someone tell you how they feel for you might help heal some of that wound that I still see," Kimiko said, before leaning in to capture Freddie's lips with her own. It was a chaste soft kiss at first, but Freddie felt the longing beneath it coming from the strong beautiful woman standing opposite him. So he pushed in to the kiss himself, giving her what he could tell she wanted, and allowing himself to have what he wanted. A moment of happiness and reprieve from the pain he had allowed to rule him these past months. Though he had sworn to "do him" when he left Washington on New Years, he hadn't held up to his side of the bargain as well as he'd hoped he would.

At first the pain had been too much to handle, but then his friends, his new friends, the ones he didn't share with her, had helped him out of that funk. This girl, the one with the crazy scarlet streaks dyed in to it, and the beautiful golden-yellow eyes, which were so reminiscent of another pair he used to stare in to, although of a much different shade, had helped him the most. Pulling back from the kiss as he rubbed circles around the small of Kim's back, Freddie smiled down to his beautiful girlfriend with an even wider smile now then the one he had given her before the kiss. There was emotion in his eyes now that she saw with her own that she had missed for many a week, hope, and real happiness.

"I'm glad you're there for me Kim, I don't know what I'd have done without you and the guys on the team," Freddie said honestly, pushing a loose strand of her beautiful straight hair back from her face as he did so.

She closed her eyes in what could only be described as a stereotypical anime-esque smile, pulling Freddie closer as she held him tight and laughed between her words of response. "You'd have been fine, because a man like you always finds his way out of the dark, always."

Freddie smiled at that, as the basketball hit him in the back of the head, causing him to spin around in the direction of his new team mates on the second sport team he'd ever managed to make it on to. "Anytime you're ready Benson, we've got suicides," Freddie's fellow fencer/basketball player Alex Rolland called over to the two. A blush spread over Freddie's face as he saw his whole team running one index finger up and down their other in the generally accepted international sign for "shame on you," these guys really were good friends. Exactly what he had needed when he got on that plane in January.

* * *

"Go out and get some piece of mind." Wow, thanks for the advice Carly, and the "Yep, sounds about right to me," from Spence really didn't help much either.

A fist collided with her jaw, sending a resounding crunching sound flying through the dimly lit makeshift arena. That should have been Freddie's fist, she thought. She wished it were him hitting her, because then at the least she would know that she meant something. She would know that what she did had angered him. She would know that he was hurting, at least somehow, if not as horribly as she was.

She didn't want him to hurt though. She wanted him to be happy. That was why she had done what she did to begin with. If Sam Puckett had allowed Freddie Benson to leave his heart in her care when he left to go back to school for his second semester, who knows what she may have done to him. She might have gotten too drunk one night, and ended up in another guy's arms. Worse yet another guy's bed.

God only knows the drinking had been happening, but it had turned to angry drinking, bitter drinking, forgetful drinking, in an attempt to wash away the pain. Any man or boy who attempted to approach Samantha Puckett in that mood was only in for one thing, and that was pain. She'd already broken two gentleman's jaws tonight in the underground fighting club under one of the more prominent Night Clubs of Seattle. They had tried to get a little too frisky, thinking their numbers and size gave them the advantage. Hell, that was after only two shots. Now she was past her fourth mixed drink, and she was fighting the night's champion.

Still all she could do was think about him. That damn ring back tone of his, and the fact that another girl was now the voice that played on his voicemail, saying to leave her "Gaijin-kun" a message. Thoughts of this last fact snapped Sam out of her reverie, and back to her fight in the steel cage encircled ring. She raised her left forearm up to parry an incoming right hook, sending the attacker's arm wild, and throwing his weight off center. With that she shifted her body weight on to her own rear foot, and then swung that leg forward as hard as she could.

As she moved the leg, she pointed the flat of her foot down to the dingy ring floor, and stomped, directly between the man's legs, so that she now stood with one leg between his. The sudden shift of all her body weight to the forward side of her stance leant immense power to the last part of her action. The arm on the same side as the shifted leg had been cocked back to fire a devastating straight armed punch to the man's sternum, known to the fighting world as a "Kenpo Punch."

The man landed hard, skidding across the ground and rolling backward to hit his head against the steel cage. He was unconscious, but still managing to moan painfully as Sam walked toward the cage wall. Rather then waiting for them to unlock the gate, she swung up against the fencing, launching herself over the top rail with a flip, to land next to the gate keeper who had been heading to unlock the door. In one hand he held the keys, and in the other a wad of cash for her victory, which he held out toward her with a shaking arm.

"I don't need it, give it to him for the medical bill," Sam said, before grabbing her jacket and flask from a nearby table, and walking toward the stairs that headed out in to the night sky in the back alley behind the club. As she got to the top of the stairs she heard a voice from over her shoulder call her name, a voice she hadn't expected to hear from ever again in her life.

"Samantha, is that really you?" She turned on her heel to see him. The tall muscular man didn't give away his age, or the heart condition that had almost killed him a few years before. Or the murderous past which he had, but his eyes, those damn eyes that every one in her father's bloodline had, cousins, brothers, sisters, daughters, and sons. "It really is, my god child, what are you doing here?"

Her dad's cousin, from some "littler big city" in North Carolina, stood wearing a three piece suit, a slight bit of stubble gracing his face, and piercing in to her with those eyes that she knew she shared with him by genetic default. Their color might not be the same hue, they might not ever hold the same pain, but eyes in their mutual bloodline ever since Andrew Scott, his grandfather, her great grandfather, always showed what they were thinking.

"Dan, what the hell are you doing in Seattle, does your Parole Officer know where you are?" Sam spat. This man, whom she had once called uncle as a boy had taken away one of the few members of her father's she had ever really cared to call family. Murdering his own brother in cold blood. Effectively destroying Sam's connection to that side of her family. Keith had been her Uncle, her confidant, and the man who taught her everything she knew about cars, well, other then her cousin Lucas, but he had learned everything he knew from Keith as well.

"Yes, he does, and actually kiddo, I was here to see you."

Sam's fists were clenched at her sides again, and this time the person standing in front of her had actually caused rage and grief in her life, though she had been barely 9 or 10 years old when it had happened, she was sure in fact that if not for this man reminding her why she hated her father's name so much, she might have wanted to be a Scott. "Well, you've seen me, now good bye, murderer."

With that, she spun another about face, and walked away. Sam had enough pain in her life, she didn't need to dig that back up, but she couldn't help but allow the memories to flood in to her now. So as they did, she started to run, and run, it was an unusually rainy day for the time of year, even for Seattle, and the splashes of water that met her foot falls dragged her attention to the sky.

Above her planes flew over head, as she was not all that far from the tarmac of Seattle's international airport. A fond smile crossed her face at the memories of her, laying between Uncle Keith and Cousin Lucas in Aunt Karen's front drive, watching the planes fly over head from Tree Hill Airport. It was a funny memory, because she recalled asking Lucas and Keith if they were falling stars once, when she was about three, visiting for the summer. Keith had said they could be if she wanted them to.

That B.O.B. song with Hayley Williams, and Eminem had reminded her of those days when it came out the year before. And now, watching the planes fall over head, the lyrics started to play accompanying old pictures in her mind of the summers with her NC family, when her mom would send she and Mel away so she could head off to Vegas in hopes of marrying her current beau in a quicky wedding chapel. The only real difference were her wishes. Now she was wishing she could put her life back together, like it was before Freddie had left. Or better yet, get that brief bit of happiness she'd had when he came home for the holidays back. She doubted it was possible, but hell, these Airplanes were her shooting stars. The wishes when she was a little girl might have been simpler, but hey, enough of them had come true, and what isn't simpler when you're three years old? Even if you life is a little crazy.

So on and on she ran, not knowing quite where she was head, only wanting to get away from Dan, and find some peace for the night. The lyrics to "Airplanes," playing in her head.

_"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now_

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now."_

_"Dreaming._

_(oh oh oh oh)_

_Of falling (mmm mmm mmm mmm)_

_Dreaming (ooh oh oh oh)"_

It barely registered in her mind that her feet had left concrete and started slamming down against semi slick metal.

_"(ya) Lets pretend like it's 98_

_like I'm eating lunch off of Styrofoam trays_

_trying to be the next rapper comin out the A (A-town)_

_Hoping for a record deal to ignore my pain (ya)_

_now lets pretend like i'm on the stage_

_and when my beat drops everybody goes insane (woo)_

_okay_

_and everybody know my name and everywhere I go people wanna hear me sing (oh)_

_oh yeah and I just dropped my new album on the first week I did Five-Hundred Thousand_

_gold in the spring and diamond in the fall and then a world tour just to top it all off_

_and lets pretend like they called me the greatest selling out arenas with big ass stages_

_and everybody loved me and no-one ever hated_

_lets try to use imagination"_

_"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now_

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now"_

_Soon she was huffing from exertion as she ran up one flight of stairs, then another._

_"Okay lets pretend like this never happened (never)_

_like I never had dreams of being a rapper (rapper)_

_like I didn't write raps up in all of my classes_

_like I never used to run away into the blackness_

_now lets pretend like it was all good (good) like i didn't live staring in a notebook (notebook)_

_like I did the things that i probably knew i should (should)_

_but I aint have neighbors that's why they call it hood (hood yeah)_

_now lets pretend like i aint got a name before they ever call me BOB aka Bobby ray_

_I'm talking back before the mixtapes (yeah) before the videos and the deals and the fame_

_before the ever once compared me to Andre before i ever got on Myspace_

_before they ever noticed my face so lets just pretend and make wishes out of airplanes."_

_"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now_

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now"_

Then she knew where she was, she was standing there on his fire escape balcony, and she knew the first thing she was going to have to do to get her wish.

_"and it seems like yesterday it was just a dream_

_but those days are gone (gone gone) and just memories_

_(oh oh)_

_and it seems like yesterday it was just a dream_

_but those days are gone (gone gone)_

_all right lets pretend Marshall Mathers never picked up a pen_

_lets pretend things would have been no different_

_pretend he procrastinated had no motivation_

_pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind_

_Marshall you're never gonna make it makes no sense to play the game there ain't no way that you'll win_

_pretend he just stayed outside all day and played with his friends_

_pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend_

_and it wasn't time to move and schools were changing again_

_he wasn't socially awkward and just strange as a kid_

_he had a father and his mother wasn't crazy as shit_

_and he never dreamed he could rip stadiums and just lazy as shit_

_fuck a talent show in a gymnasium bitch you won't amount to shit quit daydreaming kid_

_you need to get your cranium checked you thinking like an alien it just ain't realistic_

_now pretend they ain't just make him angry with this shit and there was no one he could even aim when he's pissed it_

_and his alarm went off to wake him up but he didn't make it to the rap Olympics slept through his plane and he missed it_

_he's gon' have a hard time explaining to Hailey and Laney these food stamps and this WIC shit_

_cuz he never risked shit he hopes and he wished it but it didn't fall in his lap so he ain't even here_

_he pretends that…"_

_"Airplanes in the night sky like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now_

_Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars_

_I could really use a wish right now wish right now wish right now_

_Uh hmm oh oh oh ooo_

Uhu mm aalalalaa"

Samantha Joy Puckett had to make piece with Sam Puckett, and become one and the same person again. She had to restore her faith in herself, and regain her strength, much as Freddie had done before he admitted how he felt to her. She had to earn his love back, and she was going to start today.

* * *

**Hope you guys are fans of One Tree Hill, cause this story will eventually intersect with two other fics that I am writing, one of which is a OTH story. Hope you liked the chapter, though I know it took ridiculously long to post, I've been having some health complications and generally drawing a blank when it comes to writing, even with my original manuscript. Sorry again for the long wait. Feel free to bash me for taking so long in a review if you want. LOL. Well later everybody, I promise the next chapter will be up shortly, cause I really want to expedite getting my Seddie back together and on the same page. Next chapter, All Freddie, all the time. Sam will get a Chappie all to herself soon, but I need to give my boy some good times before I bring his life crashing down when he realizes how much of an idiot he's been (yeah, that's right, Freddie's the idiot here. ;) you'll figure it out when he does).**

**~Frank**


	7. Chapter VI: iDon

**iCarly iT's Been a Long Time Coming, Chapter VI: iDon't Wanna Be**

**

* * *

SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! I know it took forever guys but here's your newest chapter, part 1 of Freddie's 2 part retrospective, and finally a spot to show off some Techie skillz from Fredwierd. You all know the drill-i-o, I don't own Jack, or Jill... um, or iCarly either. God, I wish Dan Schneider would hurry up and put Sam and Fred-o together already, alas, he hasn't, so I'm going to rush out my next three chapters in an attempt to at least do so in fan fiction so you guys can get your Seddie fix. Don't worry though, plenty of angst will still be in the story, it isn't going to end any time soon. Love you guys, and thanks for all the words of encouragement and well wishes regarding my health and other such sitt-i-ations. Love, Peace, and Chicken grease.  
**

* * *

It's a hot day in Barcelona, and Summer is just around the corner. Where does the time go? That was the question on Fredward Benson's mind at this very moment in time. That, and he was wondering why he kept getting anonymous fan mail on his iCarly email address, even though he hadn't been working on the show for almost a year. He had even stopped helping Gibby with the tech-support recently, as it had been too hard to watch Sam, and hear her voice in the background, while assisting Gibby on the phone. He had grown out of that recently though, and had finally managed to start watching the show again, after all, Carly was his friend too. He couldn't stop watching the show he'd helped her build just because the co-host and he had a sordid past.

But the world of Fredward Alan Benson had been better in recent months. The pain had faded, the smile had returned, and the self assured intellectual teenaged tech-nerd was back to what he did best. He was excelling in school, he was running tech production for the school's pod cast, radio station, and sports events, and oh yeah, he was also the school's newest star athlete.

It had started with his first match back after winter break. He'd had so much inner turmoil boiling under the surface that when the British team's captain had used a cheap distraction to disarm and route Kim, he knew what he had to do. Freddie was the other team captain's next opponent, and he had entered the fight with his foil held in a batto jutsu stance. That would have been perfectly recognizable to any of his teammates, thanks to the advanced training many of them had received from Imagawa Sensei. However his opponent had no experience with Kenjutsu, or any form of Japanese sword play for that matter, other then what he had witnessed in a few anime movies. So the swift rush, double tap of the blade's edge, and then over head thrust which Freddie called a "Gotetsu" as he performed it, took the English boy completely off guard. Freddie had one the match, and thus, the whole meet for his team. That had earned him his position as Vice Captain, and the respect of every Fencer in the arena.

Following that day Freddie had begun to apply his increased physical prowess to other endeavors, partially due to his own need for a distraction from 'her' and partially on suggestion of Kimiko. That was another great part of life here, he had now been dating Kimiko for well over a season, and they had yet to have a fight. Sure there were a few down trodden days, when his sadness had been overwhelming over losing touch with Carly and the others. Or when Kim had seemed depressed because she couldn't give him everything he had back home. That had changed however when Freddie had finally realized something.

Just because he and the Demon weren't speaking anymore, didn't mean he couldn't still keep in touch with Carly and Gibby, or even Mel, who had done her very best to stay in touch with Freddie despite he and her sister's horribly fated end. So he had done just that, he'd started calling the three much more often, and responding to all of their texts and emails. He'd even begun watching iCarly again, though whenever Sam would be on screen alone he would still mute his laptop. Now that Freddie had learned to combine the best parts of his old life, with the amazing new one he had found in Espana, there was nothing to hold him back.

Nothing except that he knew he would have to go home soon for the summer, and he was dreading that season of the year more then any Fencing match, or school lesson. That meant three months state side, where he would be practically living 20 feet away from the demon. Not that Sam actually lived in the Shay's home, but she might as well, for all intents and purposes. That was one thing which Freddie Benson was not looking forward to what so ever.

* * *

"Que pasa mi novio?" Came the strong, yet soft voice of Kimiko from just over Freddie's shoulder one afternoon as he was sitting under one of the old trees in the school quad, studying after classes. She knelt down and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, before sitting her head gently down upon his shoulder and quirking it to the left to get a better view at what he was reading. "Newton huh?"

She asked, noticing that he was going over notes from their Physics lesson that afternoon. The same lesson had driven her mad almost the entire day, seeing as how she hated anything to do with science, or math. Kim was an artist, and an athlete, she was most certainly not a book worm. English and the other languages she could enjoy in her studies, because they could be applied to art through music and fiction. Science and Math however, they were beyond her comprehension. She couldn't see how someone could use chemistry and Algebra, or Geometry and Physics to make art. Sure it was possible, but to her that was twisting art in to something with rules, and she hated that.

That in fact was why Freddie enjoyed her company so much to begin with. No matter how serious minded he tried to be, or driven he was to stay focused on his school work, Kim was always there to show him the lighter side of things. No matter how much he tried to stick to the black and whites of the universe, she was always showing him the gray. There was someone else who had always tried to do that in his past, but at that particular moment he couldn't recall who it was? Probably Gibby, he thought, thinking of his friend running around shirtless to the cheers of many of their peers at some of the many parties that Carly had thrown over the past half decade. "Yeah, I think I'm about done though mi Bella. What do you say we do for the rest of the day? Its Friday so we've got plenty of time before curfew."

"I was thinking I blindfold you, get us a cab, and take you to see some of the sights that Ryo has shown me over the last few months." Kim said, speaking of her cousin, and their Fencing instructor, Professor Imagawa. Freddie smiled in response to that, really, was there any fact about this girl that could make her less then perfect? The young brown eyed tech-geek pondered that very question as his girlfriend of the last 6 months began to apply the aforementioned blind fold to his eyes. At this particular moment in time he had to admit, there wasn't anything that he could think of.

* * *

As their taxi drove through the older cobblestone roads along the edge of old Barcelona, Freddie couldn't help but wonder at the mischief he would be getting in to that day. He had this tendency to be lead willingly in to crazy situations perpetrated by equally insane young women. That was one thing he had to admit that he was glad he had gotten used to thanks to _her_. That was of course how ever long before _it_ had happened. She who shall not be named had taught him how to enjoy the moments in life that most people let pass them by, and he would forever be indebted to her for that. That was all he would ever owe her though, that was one thing of which he was equally sure.

Soon they were standing near the Parliament building, hand in hand as they ate miniature churros from a shared bag that they had bought at a concession stand outside the Zoo. Freddie couldn't help but enjoy the days like these, that he and Kim spent just getting to know each other, and the amazing city that they lived in. Barcelona had many an amazing sight, with over a 100 square feet of park per citizen, Barcelona was considered one of the most "livable" cities in all the world. That was one of the things Freddie enjoyed most about he and Kim's free time excursions, the beauty and history that they would witness with every passing moment.

Occasionally the two would just stop and watch as all the other couples, and the individual tourists walked by, sight seeing, pointing up at this and that. It was always a fresh experience, everyday with Kimiko in Barcelona. Though sometimes Freddie couldn't help but wonder how his old friends from Seattle would react to the city sights.

Alas, right now that wasn't important, what was important right now was he and Kim's time together.

* * *

There was a new episode of iCarly airing tonight, and Freddie, Kim, and some of the other students had gathered together in the Recreation Room to watch the show together. Kim tensed when the intros began, as she always seemed to do when seeing the woman whom she knew, regardless of Freddie's statements to the otherwise, had broken her boyfriend's heart. What she didn't know, was that Freddie's jaw had dropped the moment the wavy haired blonde and the pleated haired brunette appeared on screen. That was most certainly not the blonde headed demon that Freddie knew so well.

"Melanie?" Freddie said the name aloud in a questioning manner, even before the two girls stepped forward and introduced themselves backwards.

"Hi, I'm Melanie, Sam's twin sister," Carly said, sticking her tongue out afterward.

"And I'm Carly…" Mel said, with a confused look on her face.

"No, wait, no I'm not," Melanie said, to which Carly activated the laughter button on Sam's blue remote control. Freddie stared at the screen in shock, not understanding just what was going on.

Not that he was concerned where Sam was or anything, but she would never willingly hand her spot on the show to Mel, or anyone else for that matter. Freddie wasn't worried about that though, he continued to tell himself in a forceful tone inside his head, he was just caught off guard.

The show continued on for a good ten minutes before Freddie couldn't take it any longer, he didn't know why but he had to know why Sam wasn't on the show, so he quickly typed a text in to his phone for Gibby. Though he had finally started speaking to Carly again, as well as Spencer and the others back home, Gibby was the one he preferred to speak to most about Seattle. He didn't want the others to think he was home sick and get his mom all riled up over it, and he knew that if anything Gibby was loyal, and would keep things to himself when told.

In the text Freddie was short and to the point, and he hoped that Gibby would be nonchalant in the process of answering so as not to attract Carls' or Mel's attention.

~Gibby, what's going on man, where's the Demon?~

Kimiko had settled in to Freddie's side and snuggled up to him after realizing that the blonde on screen was Sam's polite and courteous twin sister, that Freddie had told her about. Comfortable in the knowledge that Freddie's broken heart wouldn't have any cause for further figurative injury do to the nicer of the Puckett twins, she settled herself in and was now enjoying the show. Freddie thanked his lucky stars for that because his attentive girlfriend hadn't caught wind of his surprise, and he liked it better that way. Not that he was cheating on her for asking about Sam or anything, but he still felt sort of guilty for being so concerned about the demon's whereabouts. Especially do to all of the time Kim had spent helping him get over the other girl in question, she deserved to be the only girl he was concerned about, and for all intents and purposes she normally would be. Right now however was a different story, no matter how angry Freddie had been with Sam these past months, or how unconcerned he'd become for her as of late, her MIA status for an iCarly broadcast had his eyebrow raised.

That's when his phone vibrated with the received explanation from Gibby. Or in this case, lack there of.

~Hey, Fred-O, I'll hit you up after the show and give you the four one wizzle, busy with you old job right now buddy. ;)~

Gibby had responded, with a sad attempt to sound hip, which Freddie noted he would have to chastise him about later. For now however, it would have to wait, as would his concerns regarding Sam's whereabouts. Wrapping his arms tight around Kimiko and leaning back to enjoy the rest of the web-cast, Freddie gained a pensive facial expression, still unable to figure the reasoning for his sudden concern. Sam wasn't his friend anymore, of her own volition, so why should he care?

Oh who the hell was he kidding, she'd done worse to him then breaking his heart, at least he likes to think so, so why should he hate her? They were friends, or at the very least frienemies at one point, that's all this was. Concern for a friend.

* * *

Soon after the show had ended Freddie received a call from Gibby on his cell, and still unable to shake his feeling of guilt, had asked his leave from his new friends, to go speak to his old in private. That had been an hour or so ago, and here he was somewhere around 1:00 AM Spain time, smacking his forehead with his hand as he couldn't help but shake the concerned instincts he had felt earlier.

So what he knew went like this:

First, Sam had gone missing four days ago, with out telling anyone, Carly, Mel, Spence, anyone, where she was going.

Second, Freddie had received no texts, or phone calls from said evil blonde himself, and so he was at the least certain she didn't mean to do him any new form of harm. Otherwise the threat would have already come, and she probably would have arrived at the school by way of over night parcel service, to do her worst, already.

Third, he didn't want to care that she was missing, but he did. He cared a lot.

The fourth fact, the one that he wouldn't admit to himself, as he played "Don't Wanna Be," by Gavin Degraw on his Pear-pod, was that he knew exactly why he was so concerned. The worst part of that unannounced fact, was that he didn't want it to be true. That's why this song that he had found was so important to him at this very moment in time.

This song was about living as you saw fit, much as his ring back "I'm Doing Me" by Drake was. Gavin Degraw sang of wanting to be himself, and not be what others wanted him to be.

That was his dilemma. Others wanted him to be concerned for their mutual friend, once Carly had overheard Gibby (following him around as Freddie had once done her, seeing as they were now dating and practically connected at the hip) telling him the situation, she had stolen his phone. She and Mel, as well as Spencer had all begged him to do his "wizardry" and help find her, by tracking whatever he could of her things to find where she was through the internet, and phone records. He didn't want to do that, he didn't want to be concerned about Sam, let her run away for all he cared. Let her suffer whatever it was she was going through all on her lonesome. That's what he wanted, at least, that's what he kept telling himself.

He knew it wasn't true though.

Freddie just wanted to be himself, like the words of the song said.

_I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son_

_I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son_

_I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one_

_Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from_

_I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_

_All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mindI'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do_

_Or who I'm supposed to be_

_I don't want to be anything other than me_

Freddie wanted to be the best man he could, because he knew who he was, and where he came from. He knew that he was always the one person one of his friends or his loved ones could go to when they'd needed him.

_I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn_

_I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn_

_I'm surrounded by a identity crisis everywhere I turn_

_Am I the only one to notice?_

_I can't be the only one who's learned_

_I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_

_All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mind_

_I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do_

_Or who I'm supposed to be_

_I don't want to be anything other than me_

He knew right now that Sam needed someone who cared about her, and even though he couldn't say that he was still in love with her, he could say that he cared. He cared if she lived or died, he cared if she was sick or hurt, he cared if she was alone.

_Can I have everyone's attention please_

_if you're not like this and that_

_You're gonna have to leave_

_I came from the mountain, the crust of creation_

_My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone_

_And now I'm telling everybody_

_I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately_

_All I have to do is think of me and have peace of mindI'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta to do_

_Or who I'm supposed to be_

_I don't want to be anything other than me_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be anything other than me_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

_I don't want to be_

Freddie was made out of better stuff then what he kept telling himself he was. He had almost let the events between himself and Sam on New Years Eve take away some of the best components of who he was. He was forgiving. He was self aware. He knew that he was worth better then what he had in his past, and that he was willing to fight to change that. He had first come to Spain because he wanted to get stronger for other people, but that was all part of the lies he'd been telling himself.

He came to Spain to become stronger for himself, because…

…_He_ wanted to help other people.

…_He_ wanted to prove that he could.

…_He_ wanted to be a better man.

So now he was realizing that. He was realizing that _he_ wanted to help the others find Sam. _He_ wanted to tell her how stupid she had been for shutting her friends and loved ones out these past six months. _He_ wanted to tell her that she was better than that.

Because, well, simply put, _she_ was.

He still had a ways to go before he could really say all that to Sam face to face himself, but _he_ would help the others track her down. _He_ would help get her home. _He_ would help them heal whatever wounds she had, whether they be external, or within, in the best way he could.

For his own piece of mind he would just have to do it from a distance.

Because Fredward Alan Benson just wanted to be himself. Which, right now, at this moment in time, that meant _he_ wanted to be a fencer. _He_ wanted to be a basketball player. _He_ wanted to be the popular kid in school.

He couldn't do that in Seattle. Not when he still didn't know how he felt about the whole incident over Winter Holiday. Not when he wasn't sure how he felt about himself after having moved on from the Demon to Kimiko as fast as he had. Not when he wasn't even sure if he ever wanted to go back to Seattle to begin with. He still had another year to discover his place in the world, seeing as how his scholarship had been for a minimum of two years. He would cross that bridge when he came to it.

Right now, as he entered his password "5pecia1h4m" in to his laptop (what he'd been to lazy to change it okay?) it was time to get down to brass tax. Sam needed to be found, _he_ needed to know that she was safe, _he_ needed to know that she wasn't alone, and most of all, _he_ needed to know one thing. _Why?_

That would probably be the catalyst in his next major life decision.

* * *

A/N: Looks like Freddie might be well on his way to discovering what I've already told the rest of you, he's an idiot (at least when it comes to love)! Not quite there yet, but hell, we still have another full chapter devoted to Fredderino next chap! And, I know all, real late update, and not as long as you were probably hoping for. Don't worry though, next chapter as Freddie tracks Sam down as only he can, he gets some more self discovery done, and will finally come to a decision regarding his future, contemplative Fredwierdo= lots of pages ;) ... Oh, and its already ready to go, I'm just having my buddy proof read and edit, so be here in a few days for the next chappie! However, don't get too excited, we still have a Magnum Opus of a Sam chapter after that before we get back to basics and see where the two's lives regarding each other are going. Stay tuned for iCarly iT's Been a Long Time Coming, Chapter VII: iNside of my Head.


	8. Chapter VII: iNside of My Head

_**Chapter VII: iCarly: iT's Been a Long Time Coming, iNside of My Head**_

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Hey Everyone, you all know I don't own Jack, so here goes:  
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**This is where I meet the challenge of proving to everyone that yes, Freddie is the fool in this entire situation. Not because he's missing some off beat truth of the universe, or because he and Sam are destined for one another. Alas, you'll see why as the story unfolds.**

* * *

He's been at this for days.

Fredward Benson was, as he had been for well over a month now, cooped up in his room after the day's classes. It was dark out, though the hour of day escaped Freddie at this particular moment. He was too close to his goal not to keep at it. He had eliminated ninety five percent of the possible places Samantha Joy Puckett could have gone, and he was so close to finding her now he could taste it. At first Kim had been worried about Freddie, and the late hours he'd been keeping during his search for his old friend.

In fact she'd been worried for his mental well being as well. His physical health had remained strong, somehow, even with the lack of sleep that he was imposing upon himself hadn't begun to take its toll. It was almost like there was something else driving him. He wasn't Kim's Freddie anymore. Or at least, not the Freddie that she had been getting to know over the last ten months or so. He was a man possessed.

She had always known that he was a good friend. She knew that he would do anything for his friends if they needed him. In fact that was one of the things that had attracted her to Freddie to begin with. This however, was something else entirely. When Freddie finished with his morning workout, he went to class, at lunch, he was in the library on the internet tracking down a new lead in his search for his missing friend. After lunch, back to class, and finally, practice. Being that Freddie was now on two of the school's sports teams his day was shot from there, until the later evening, at which time it was right back to his search, and thus, right back to his room. It was as if he had no time for their little adventures anymore.

The saddest part of the whole situation was that Kimiko was more then willing to help Freddie in any way that she could. All he had to do was ask, or just let her in. The problem was, he had barely said more then a "hey babe," or a "how was class?" to her in days. She was trying with all her might to understand what he was going through, having someone you knew your whole life suddenly disappear off the face of the Earth. Yet she couldn't help but wonder if that was the only thing distracting her boy friend. After all, the girl he was searching for was the very same Blonde Headed Demon who had broken his heart over Winter Holiday. "Oh, Freddie, what's going on inside of your head?"

Truth be told, he was asking himself that very same question. Every dead end he met in his search just gave him ten new ideas. He'd already eliminated any form of purchases using Sam's bank accounts. Or Carly's, Gibby's, Melanie's, Sam's mother's, Spencer's, or Principal Franklin's either. He'd even checked his own account to make sure Sam hadn't pulled any wire transfers from it, and they were all a no go. All he had been able to find was that she had emptied her own bank accounts to their bare minimum, as to keep them from being charged with any maintenance fees, and seemingly let them lapse. That however was two weeks before she had evaporated from the face of the planet.

He'd contacted everyone he could think of that might have a bead on Sam. Even going so far as to call her Uncle Carmine, the man who's father had "adopted" Sam's own during the years of his rough and tumble youth before being institutionalized for life upon his third strike in the state of California during an attempted robbery. He had figured that if Sam was going to be in touch with anyone it would be the one guy who could help keep everyone else off of her tail. Sad thing was, that Carmine had said he was worried about the girl, and if Carmine Puckett was honest about anything, it was Sam.

* * *

_Another Time:_

"_Seriously Fredwich, I'm broken, I just don't see how you can really love me as much as you claim to. It would be better for you if I had really hated you all these years. That way I couldn't drag you down with me." The blonde said in an exasperated breath after he'd told her he loved her for the fourth time that afternoon. It was the day after they had admitted their feelings for each other, and Sam was doing what she always did when she cared about something._

_Freddie laughed at her attempts to push him away. "You know Sam, every time you have a problem, you respond the same way."_

_The eyebrow over Sam's ice blue right ocular rose in an effort to express her interest in Freddie's statement._

"_What's that?"_

"_You push it away." The brunette boy said exasperatedly, as he pulled his new girlfriend down in to his lap and wrapped her tight in his arms._

"_Well obviously that isn't working…" Sam chided playfully, whispering in to Freddie's ear as she did so._

"_That's what I'm afraid of." The man beneath her said in response, so quietly that she couldn't hear his words._

_

* * *

_Finally after three weeks of searching Freddie had thought he came across what might have been a Sam sighting at a concert in Memphis. He'd tracked down an obscure cousin of Sam's Father by blood to that city, and he'd read something about a teenaged female hooligan smashing to guys faces in for getting fresh at a Cuttlefish show. However when the police were making their arrests the young woman, described as about 5'3", 120 pounds, with blue eyes, curly blonde hair, and a crazy smirk, had managed to evade them yelling something along the lines of "You'll never take me alive coppers!"

That had brought a smirk to Freddie's face. If this crazy fugitive really was his quarry, the missing Samantha Joy Puckett, then that was just like her. She was always running away from her problems. Just like she would run away when Briggs caught her beating up some poor nerd at school. Or vandalizing the football team's lockers because their quarterback had called Carly a prude. Or stealing fat cakes from the student store's delivery truck, while forcing Gibby to be her lookout. Running Away was how Sam always escaped from her problems.

* * *

_Yet another day in the past, much longer ago then the last:_

"_WHEW! I BARELY MADE IT!" Sam yelled, as she burst through the door of Carly's apartment, almost falling on her face as she doubled over to grab her knees. Her breaths were ragged and shallow as she attempted to regain her composure._

"_What did you do now, delinquent?" Freddie teased, raising an eyebrow in one of his trademark lopsided smirks. His tone was chiding, but there was something there in his words that made Sam's lips perk. Was that flirtation in his voice?_

"_I beat up a senior," Sam said, smiling proudly as she finally caught her second wind and hopped over the back of the couch to flop by the dork's side. "Alex Beckman, the quarterback for the Varsity Team. After that the Defensive Line started chasing me down, and I bolted."_

"_Why do you always run from your problems Sam?" Freddie asked, looking toward the beautiful blonde at his left, and wondering why he couldn't just say what he was thinking. Why did she always run from him when he was trying to tell her how he really feels._

"_Because, that's what Pucketts do, and I'm the most Puckett-ific Puckett there ever was." Sam started dying of laughter at her own joke after that. Freddie just smiled, a seemingly amused smile, that was truthfully sad and downtrodden. Sam could see right through it._

"_What's eating your Galaxy Wars briefs Benson?" She asked, raising his chin to force him to look in to her eyes._

"_Why did you beat up Alex, Sam?" Freddie asked, after pushing her hand away from his chin, and pretending to wipe away her germs with his sleeve. He had to keep up appearances that he hated her after all. It wouldn't do if she knew the truth, she'd kill him, or run away like she always did. That was his Sam Puckett, the girl he'd secretly been falling for these past months. She ran away, to protect herself from the world, she ran._

"_Because, the jerk called you Freddork when he was talking to his friends," Sam said with a dismissive wave of her hand._

_Freddie's eyes lit up with that admission, as he looked back to Sam again quizzically. "So, you do that all the time. Why'd you beat him up for it?"_

_"'Cause, beating you up, verbally and physically is Momma's job. It's our thing Freddie, no one else gets to do that but Me."_

_Freddie smiled wider, and genuinely with those words from the demon. Maybe going to Barcelona to better himself for Sam wasn't such a bad idea after all. If he got strong enough then maybe the next time she ran, he could catch her._

_

* * *

_That's why he was having so much trouble figuring out the cause behind her entire disappearance, what was Sam running from? What had happened after he'd left to return to Spain? Had she suddenly grown a conscience after ripping his heart out and snacking on it in his face? It was all just too much for one man's thoughts to process. Freddie needed a second opinion. Frankly, because asking himself: "What's going on inside of my head?", as he tried to figure it out on his own, just wasn't doing the trick. So here he was, leaned back in his computer desk chair after another long evening of searching, and staring across the main square of the SVA campus toward Kimiko's room, hoping to the powers that be that she wasn't angry at him for being so distracted lately. He could really use some of her energy and adventurous spirit in trying to track down the wild beast that was his old friend, because whether he wanted to admit it or not, Sam and Kim were a lot more alike then one might think.

Standing up, Freddie slid his feet in to an old pair of Converses, with the laces tied just loosely enough to allow them to be slip ons, and headed for the door of his room. Turning the handle Freddie pondered the clues that he had thus far. Sam had almost certainly been in Tennessee. Carmine had no idea where she was, and his resources were extensive, and varied. She wasn't traveling in any way that could generate a paper trail that could be followed back to her personally. Her twin and Carly were both concerned for her well being, and there was one other thing.

She had been continually updating her status on Splashface and to insure everyone that she was safe. Unfortunately Sam was a lot more tech savvy then anyone (other then maybe Freddie who had built a website for her according to very exact specifications in the past) was aware of. She had managed to bounce her ISP off of various different hubs until the original location had become lost in the jumble. Too lost even for Freddie to be able to find. That left him with only one option, think like the beast.

* * *

_Another Day, another dollar spent on therapy:_

"_I just don't get why you beat on me so much Puckett!" Freddie spat one particular afternoon._

"_Somebody's got to do it," Sam responded flatly, raising the left side of her mouth in a half smirk._

"_That's not a real answer Samantha!" Freddie almost screamed, his voice having raised quite a bit, only wavering on the last word as he realized what he had called Sam. She was going to attack him again._

_In response she pounced, knocking him back on to the couch in Carly's living room with a resounding thud. "First off, don't ever raise your voice at me!"_

_Sam ordered exasperatedly her self. "Second, I mean that someone has to toughen you up because sitting around pining over Carly all day long isn't going to do it. Neither is being coddled by your mother. You're Sixteen Freddie, a man… sort of. You need to learn to act like one."_

_Finally finished with her tirade, Sam got up off of his lap and brushed her self, shaking her head back and forth disappointedly._

"_Why would you do it though Sam? You hate me right? You make it a point to say so almost every day. Why do you care if I toughen up or not? Or how manly I am?" That was the question burning the brightest in Freddie's mind, the one part her understood least of this puzzle that was Sam Puckett._

"_Try to think like the beast Freddie, then maybe you'll finally get a clue and catch on!" Sam said, before almost jumping to her feet, and storming out of Carly's apartment door with a slam._

_At that moment Carly came walking downstairs, jibber jabbering on her phone with someone or another, eyebrow raised at Freddie, who was sitting dumbfounded on her couch, holding his head in his hands. What was getting him so down lately? Didn't he and Sam fight everyday, why did it seem like it was so much rougher on him all of a sudden._

_That's when a crash from Spencer's room, and the smoke detector distracted Carly._

"_WHAT NOW?"_

_

* * *

_So it was that he came to stand outside the girl's dorm building, lightly throwing pebbles toward his girlfriend's window sill, hoping that Kimiko wasn't yet asleep. He'd be lying if he tried to say that he hadn't realized how similar Sam and Kim's attitudes were, toward well, nearly everything. They both loved food, dancing (though they'd kill anyone who repeated that), fighting, cats (particularly mangy ones), violent video games, Girly Cow, and taking the lead. The things that set them apart were how they went about those things they didn't enjoy, while Sam was prone to lash out violently, Kim, more then likely do to her upbringing in the more stringent Japanese culture, was duty bound to suffer through them.

That, and Kim was much more honest with her feelings. Preferring to face anything that concerned her head on with her fists or wits, then run away from her problems. That was what Freddie was hoping would help him out in his current predicament. That drive to succeed, coupled with the previously listed similarities to Sam would hopefully assist Freddie in finally tracking down the elusive Blonde.

"Here goes nothing…" Freddie said, as he finally saw the light flick on in Kim's window.

That was three days ago, and Kim was finally able to rest at ease. She had her Freddie back, at least, a part of him. He was still driven to find his old friend and coworker, and he was still adamant that he was the only one who could do it, but he had asked her to help. He had needed her assistance in his search, and that had proved that he hadn't yet forgotten about her. That had shown her that she was still in Freddie's thoughts, and that was enough for now.

She would worry about the time spent without so much as a full conversation after they had found his friend. She wasn't sure if it was duty, or honor, or fear for this Sam girl's safety that drove Freddie to find her, but if that was what he wanted, then she would help. He had said that he needed a freer spirit's point of view, and that Kimiko was quite possibly the only person he knew that might have a spirit as free as Sam's. From their earliest days as friends, before the Winter Break that Freddie still hadn't told her much about, other then the fact that his heart had been broken, she knew much of this Samantha Joy Puckett.

She knew she was a fighter. She knew she was wild. She knew she was carefree. Quite frankly she sounded like just the kind of girl that Kim would love to get to know, if not for the fact that during said Winter Break she was rather certain that the Blonde had been the one who broke Freddie's heart. That alone had made her actually despise the blue eyed co-host of iCarly, every time they watched the show before her disappearance, Kim would shoot daggers from her eyes at the girl's digital image. She couldn't imagine why someone would want to hurt a kind, gentle, brave, handsome man like Freddie Benson.

That, she pondered as she stood behind Freddie watching him run the search for male adolescents adopted in Seattle, Washington over the last thirty years in to his lap top, was she and Sam's only irreconcilable difference. She thought the world of Fredward Allan Benson. While apparently Samantha Joy Puckett did not. "BINGO!""What is it Freddie-kun?" Kim said, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's shoulders and leaning down upon them to get a better look over him and toward the screen. There on a list in front of the two now sat the highlighted name of Samantha's father. "Robert Henry Scott, was released from juvenile detention officer's custody to that of one Anthony Marcus Puckett, who would adopt the young man legally on March 2nd of the same year, in 1987, at the age of 15. Apparently the young Mr. Puckett, then still Scott, had run away from home in Tree Hill North Carolina seven months prior, with help from one Carmine Puckett, 17, son of Anthony, and had lead the police on a state to state man hunt performing various thefts the entire way. Upon reaching Seattle both Carmine and Robert were captured by local police, and turned in to custody of the Juvenile Detention Center of King County. After his parents had refused to accept him back in to their home upon his subsequent release, young Mr. Scott was made a ward of the state, who placed him in the custody of Mr. Anthony Puckett as a foster child until his eventual adoption, three weeks later."

"So, there you have it Freddie. The one place that someone who doesn't talk about the past might go to hide, the one place she's never told anyone about. Maybe you should call her mom and see if any of Sam's family still lives in this Tree Hill? No?" Kim suggested, after reading the excerpt about Sam's father aloud from the page. "That's what I would do if I had to run from something. I'd go to a place that I knew no one would ever come looking for me. Though that would be kind of hard, because between you and Ryo, I think you both know about all my special places."

* * *

_Back in Seattle, during Winter Break…_

"_Freddie, you remember how you wanted to know why I run?" Sam asked, as she half slumbered peacefully, clutched to his chest with her head nuzzling him every few seconds._

"_Yeah Sammy, I remember." He said, rubbing circles on her back with his hands as he held her tightly, reveling in the time alone they were getting to spend together tonight. Tomorrow was his last night home, so there would be no such time._

"_I run so I can't be hurt. I run so that no one gets to take away a part of me when they leave." Sam said, clutching him tighter as she whispered those words._

"_I'd never hurt you Sam, and I know I'm leaving tomorrow night, but its only for a few months then I'll be back for Spring Break before you know it." Freddie said, smiling at the contented sigh he got in return._

_Little did he know however that Sam had already decided to run. Sam Puckett ran because she was insecure. She wasn't just afraid of being left, she was afraid of someone staying. She was afraid of being loved too much. If she let Freddie be that someone, she'd hate him for it, he'd make her weak, and reliant, and those were two things Pucketts just weren't allowed to be._

_

* * *

_Freddie was standing talking to Carly on his Cell Phone a couple hours later, after his first morning period. He was sure to check and make sure the hour was decent in Seattle before making the call, and here he was, telling his friend what he assumed was the truth of Sam's disappearance. For all intents and purposes it seemed as though she had headed to Tennessee at least, and from there the only possible safe place for her to go would have been North Carolina. She knew no one else in the easterly United States, at least no one whom she would be safe with. Freddie wasn't even sure if she was safe with her family in North Carolina, and that scared him more then he cared to think.

* * *

_Another When, Another Where:_

"_Why Sam, why do you always have to go running off on your own like that?" They're fourteen, Sam saw the boy she liked, Eric Brooks hooking an arm around Carly's waist during the Dance, and lean in to kiss her. She had bolted, and even though every fiber of Freddie's being told him to stand there and ignore it, he just couldn't. Whether he wanted to admit it or not he had a strange sort of affection for the blonde headed demon. It was like their constant jabs and jives at each other were just a part of their friendship. At least that was how he looked at it, he knew she hated him though._

_Walking around the corner, he found her curled up with her knees up to her own chest sitting at the base of her locker, crying in to her own knees. "Eric was supposed to have been my date, but then today he told me he'd found someone better an…"_

_Sam sobbed, shocking Freddie that she had opened up to him so easily. His fingers curled in to a tight fist as he heard her explanation of what happened. He had figured it was something like that, but he was still angry. Sam might have been abrasive, and mean, and loud, but she was still a person, and no one deserved to have their heart trampled on like that. "Hey now!"_

_Freddie said, kneeling in front of Sam, and gently lifting her chin with his left hand, hoping she wouldn't snap at him with those meat mangling jaws of hers. "The big jerk isn't worth it Sam. The guy can't dance anyway…"_

_Freddie said, trying to comfort his sometime friend, usually frienemy somehow. She looked up at him with those bright ocean blue eyes of hers clouded, and filled with tears, and he raised a brow. "Now how about we go ruin his night completely by telling Carly what he did to you, and how you were supposed to be his date first?"_

_Freddie said with a mischievous grin. Sam raised a brow to that herself, which Freddie responded to with a shrug of both his shoulders. "We both know she'll snap, and go crazy on the guy. Then we can all act goofy and Random Dance, just like when we do iCarly, what do you say?"_

_Sam smiles up at Freddie as she accepts his offered hand and help up to her feet. "Fred-lumps, why do you always come to the rescue, even though I usually treat you like shit?"_

"_Because, Sam-my, you're always running away from your problems, and I want you to know that at least when you're with Carly and I, you don't have to. You're safe with us Sam. You're with friends."_

_

* * *

_Carly had taken the news in stride, and seemed to be relieved when Melanie had voiced from the background that they had an Uncle in Tree Hill, and two older cousins. The Uncle was actually a second cousin themselves, sharing the same grandfather as their own Dad, and once sharing the same last name, long before their Father had become a Puckett through adoption. Apparently, at least according to what Melanie had said, Sam would be with their cousin if she was visiting anyone in Tree Hill, as she couldn't stand their Uncle Dan, though Mel didn't blame her, and wouldn't elaborate on why.

"Well what are we going to do about this?" Freddie asked exasperatedly, really wishing there was something he could do to make everything better.

"School's out for us tomorrow Freddie, Gib', Mel' and I are borrowing Sock-O's RV and going after Sam. We should reach N.C. in about a weeks time, if we stop to rest at night, and when we get there we'll go straight to Tree Hill. Mel says she can still remember where her cousin Lucas' house is, so we'll go there and look for her. Just pray for her Freddie, that's all you can do. Call you with an update soon," Carly said, not knowing what else to tell the boy, as she hung up.

She knew this was harder on him then he wanted to let off. Just like she'd known that he and Sam had feelings for each other long before they admitted it. Just like she had shot Freddie down for years before, and again after the whole Taco Truck incident, because she knew Freddie and Sam were meant for each other. Just like she'd turned down Freddie and Gibby's idea of taking a flight to Spain for the Summer to hang with Freddie and his new girl because she knew they wouldn't last. She knew Freddie still loved Sam, and that was the real reason he had decided to help track her down. He wasn't just worried about his friend. The love of his life was out there missing somewhere, and he was being torn apart inside because there was nothing he could do to fix it. She'd made it very clear she didn't want him to. Though Carly knew that was the biggest load of crock Sam had ever spit out too. She'd read the fan mail to Freddie from "Liquid Chicken" and "Special Ham" on iCarly these last few months. She was no idiot. She knew they were Sam. Now it was time to get the two to both sit down and face things. Either they were going to fix their relationship, and get back together, or she was going to stick them both on her Dad's Submarine locked in a box in the cargo bay when he came home for a month's leave at their graduation. Freddie had promised she and Gibby he'd be back for that at the very least, so she had two years. Though with a couple that took four times that long to admit they had feelings for each other to begin with, she was sure she would need it.

Freddie himself was falling apart on the inside, as he sat watching a movie in the common room three days later, curled up with Kimiko on the couch. He was feeling almost guilty about this whole situation, because he knew that Sam was running from something, and all he could think back to as a catalyst, was their break up. That and the fact that he hadn't answered her calls in months. In fact, he'd made it a point to let Kimiko talk on his voice mail just to rub it in Sam's face that he was moving on. Was he really? He thought, as he looked down at the comfortable girl wrapped up in his arms, who lay napping after the movie they had just watch.

She had come to his window that night, after the party, after everything that happened upstairs in the studio at Carly's, and she'd actually asked him if she could come in. He had looked at her with the most pain and contempt he had ever held in his eyes and told her to get lost. Actually he'd said…

* * *

"_GO TO HELL PUCKETT!" Slamming the window in her face, he turned back toward his bed, before walking toward it and falling back in to his tears. He couldn't believe the gall of this girl, coming to his window like that asking to talk after she'd ripped his heart out like that, and in front of a stranger no less. He could taste blood in his mouth from where he'd bit his cheek to keep from calling her a slut, or a whore just now. Or some other choice word you were never supposed to call a woman. He was angry, beyond all belief, but sadly, he couldn't call Sam any of those words._

_Especially when he didn't mean them. Regardless of whether this past few days had all been a game to her or not, for Freddie, they were the most amazing moments of his life. Which sadly, had just come to a very abrupt and painful end. Without another look toward the large window, he lay down in bed, still fully clothed, and fell in to a restless sleep._

_Outside the glass, tears of remorse filling her own eyes, Sam knelt down to the ground outside the window, and sat the custom made Boken she had made for Freddie below his window sill. Wrapped up inside the cloth was a letter explaining everything she'd done tonight, and why she had done it. Because he was right, she always ran from her problems. She was a demon, and a monster, and the worthless rotten human being everyone thought she was. All he had ever asked of her was that she love him, and she had with all her heart, but she couldn't stand that feeling. She knew herself so well that she was afraid of breaking his trust, hurting him, tarnishing the purity of his heart. She didn't think she deserved his love, and so she had made sure it wasn't hers to have anymore._

_She hoped he would find the Boken one day, maybe when he was moving out of his Mom's apartment and going off to college, he'd come outside to the balcony again. He'd find it there and the letter, and he'd know that she never meant to hurt him, she didn't want to hurt the person who loved her most in the world, and that was shy she had to make him hate her. Because all Sam Puckett knew how to do was hurt people. And run away before they could hurt her back._

_

* * *

_What Sam didn't know was that three days later, having been confused by the entire situation between her son, and the girl who had pulled the wool over her eyes for those past months acting as though she actually cared about Freddie, Marissa Benson had stepped out on to her son's Fire Escape balcony. There she had found the Boken, and not thinking to unwrap it and inspect it for any thing out of the ordinary, she put it inside on Freddie's bed.

Having come in to Freddie's room today to straighten it up a bit, and put the new more grown up sheets he had sent her from Barcelona on his bed, Marissa looked at the cloth wrapped wooden sword. Smiling, she picked it up, no slouch with a bladed weapon herself, she marveled at the craftsmanship of the Japanese style practice sword, its perfectly balanced weight, and the fine curvature.

Cautiously unwrapping the blade, her attention was soon stolen by the note that fell from within the cloth wrapping, toward the ground at her feet. Kneeling to pick up the small weathered piece of paper, Marissa's heart paused, a hand clutching her chest as tears rose to her eyes while she read the note. She had been wrong about Sam all these months, and so had her Freddie. They had been dead wrong.

_Dear Freddie,_

_That's right, Freddie. No mean nicknames, and no jokes._

_I am sorry for what I did to you._

_I just want you to know that it was all a lie._

_Well, not all of it._

_When I said I liked you on Christmas Eve, that was true._

_Everything I said between that night and New Years Eve had been, and when I told you that you didn't deserve me, I meant it._

_You deserve better then me._

_You deserve someone who's smart, kind, funny, intelligent (because we both know that smarts and intelligence are two different things) and gorgeous. Everything that you are to me._

_You deserve someone who isn't a screw up, and is worth your time. In other words, the exact opposite of a girl like me._

_I'm sorry if I had to make you hate me so you could move on, but it had to be done. I couldn't stand the thought of you caring about me still. You had to think I was the worth person in the world before you left, so you wouldn't feel guilty if someone better came along._

_I wish you the best, and oh, just incase you didn't realize it yet, when you said you loved me the day before Carly's party, I know I kind of froze, but its because I didn't think you could care that much about me. I hoped you did, but at the same time, I wasn't ready for it._

_Its too bad that I didn't realize it until after the idiot move I pulled in the studio, but I just wasn't ready to admit my feelings back._

_I love you too._

_~Yours Forever, even though I'm sure you'll never want me again,_

_Princess Puckett_

_PS: The Inscription on the Sword says "Momma's Boy" on it, so I guess you can tell people Marissa bought it for you._

With that Marissa Benson clutched the note tightly to her chest in tears, and ran down the hall to grab her keys. Soon she was in her car running through stop signs, and every other un-Marissa like thing to do, in an attempt to reach the post office before closing time. She had to send this package off to Freddie tonight, she just had to.

* * *

A few days later:

Kimiko came barreling in to Freddie's room at SVA, having pushed through three boys to reach said dorm room. One of the aforementioned gentleman was lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling wondering what hit him, as the last thing he could remember was stepping in front of Imagawa Kimiko and saying "No girls allowed in the dorm."

He had ended up on his back in a flash. "FREDDIE!"

Kimiko called, slamming her fist, which was gripping a half wrapped Boken tightly, against the door of his room repeatedly. "Freddie, open up!"

The girl called, this time much more gently, and having lowered the weapon hand toward the ground. Just then her boyfriend opened the door of his room, being one of the few boys in the dorms to opt to stay on campus during Summer break, Freddie was still in his boxers, looking as though he was blinking sleep out of his eyes.

Kimiko blanched, and turned away, mumbling something about pants to her boyfriend. Freddie looked down, raising an eyebrow as he did so, until his eyes caught site of the reason behind her comment.

Running back to his dresser, Freddie pulled out a pair of pants, and shimmied in to them, before running back to the door of his room, to find a very distraught Kim waiting for him. "What's the problem babe?"

He asked, stepping out of the room as he pulled a t-shirt on over his head. The plain white v-neck showed off his pectorals almost as much as he had been when he was shirtless, and Kim was finding it very difficult to focus.

"I uh, I'm sorry, but I just had to open it…" Kimiko said, handing the wooden sword to Freddie as he stepped out in to the Dorm hall and closed the door to his room. The brunette boy looked down toward the Kanji carved in to the blade and read the Japanese word for Momma first, sticking out from the paper that wrapped the object.

"What the? Where did you get this?" Freddie asked, looking up toward Kimiko's own quizzical expression as she held a piece of paper out in his direction. "What's that?"

Freddie asked, as he took the paper from his girlfriend, smiling as he looked down to the piece of paper, reaching out to accept it. Kimiko whimpered as he took it, which caused him to look up in to her eyes. "What's the matter Kim? Are you okay?"

The young man asked, his voice showing quite a bit of concern as he reached out for his girlfriend's arm. In response, Kim pulled back and just pointed down to the note. "I'm not the one you should be worried about Freddie, she is…"

Kim said, before bolting away from him, and knocking down another two boys as she exited the male's dorm.

Freddie looked down at the paper in his hand with a fearful look upon his face. Whatever was written on this paper had apparently involved a girl, and himself, and upset Kimiko dearly. Did he really want to read it? No probably not, did he need to however? Yes, if he was ever going to live a normal life again, Freddie was going to have to read this paper, and get a little perspective.

"Dear Freddie…"

* * *

After having finished the letter from his former girlfriend, Freddie sat down, holding his head in his hands on the bench in the middle of the common square of the Academy. He had a decision to make.

There were three choices in front of Freddie at the moment.

On one hand he had Kimiko. The energetic, athletic, intelligent, beautiful girl he'd spent the past six months with day in and day out. She had made him happy these past months, and protected him from the darkness that had stolen over his heart after Sam's treachery.

Then there was Sam herself. All of the pain, all the anger, everything that had built up inside of him thanks to her these past six months had been for not. Because in the end he couldn't be angry with her. He had always known she ran from her problems, and lied bold faced to anyone who tried to call her on it. She'd never been one to talk about things, or deal with painful experiences, always preferring to ignore them.

He'd known that, and yet he hadn't seen through her ploy on New Years, proving that he didn't know her as well as a boyfriend should have. Even as well as a friend should have.

He could tell Kimiko that things with Sam were over, and that he just wanted to work on their relationship now that he'd found her. Or he could go running home, and try to help Carly and the others track Sam down, and tell her that he was sorry, sorry for having been so much of an Idiot and actually letting her run away from their relationship like he did.

Or, he could take the cowards way out, and leave both girls to their fates, preferring to just get on with his life, and his education, and forget about teenage romantic angst completely.

No matter what Freddie chose however, he knew one thing for certain…

…He was a damned fool for having let Sam run. He was a fool for having fell for her entire act. Above all else he was a fool for not demanding a reason when it had all happened.

"Fredward Alan Benson, you, are an idiot!"  


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**A/N: Hope you guys liked it. I know that things are going to get a little rough in the next couple chapters, and I hope you all bear with me. Sorry if Freddie's realization was a bit anti climatic, but I hope you guys get it. It was a building thing for Freddie throughout the chapter, if you read, beginning to end, he's been having the flashbacks all along.**

* * *

_**Next Chapter: We follow Sam from Seattle, to Tree Hill. From her meeting with Dan Scott, to the door of her cousin Lucas' home, and in the process we get a deeper look in to Sam's mind. We see why her father hated his Scott heritage so much, and we see the only real relationship he managed to keep with that side of his family in some flashbacks to her and Keith together in Sam's early childhood. We also witness the fallout between Sam and Carly and the others once they catch up to her in Tree Hill, all coming to a head in iCarly: iT's Been A Long Time Coming; Chapter VIII, "I'M on the Run!"**_


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